I wish to permanently cease existing at all times, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence so hopeless and undesirable, only death can bring me peace from this futile existence that caused nothing but meaningless suffering in the first place and as long as one exists there is no limit as to how much one can suffer.
I'd always prefer to peacefully not exist than to deteriorate and decay from age just to die slowly and painfully from old age, suicide is all that feels rational to me to escape from the pointless and torturous burden that is human existence, I simply wish to be unconscious for all eternity where all is finally forgotten about.