Time Machine

[loser4ever4life]

Was rewatching Better Call Saul for what will be my final time, and there's this question that the main character poses; "What would you change with a time machine?". The idea being, what's the one thing that you could go back and change, if you could. There was a similar question asked on here earlier last week, but I think it missed the point by assuming you could just go back and just make things better (fame, fortune). But I want to know what's a real tangible decision you could have made back then and change. You only get the one. No copouts ( like tell myself to invest in bitcoin).

Mine would be December 2019. I was just about to turn 17, I applied to university, got in through early admissions so I had a plan, but I felt empty. I felt as if the world was passing me on by. I felt alone and just generally dejected. I contemplated killing myself then, jumping off of some bridge into an icy river. But then COVID started and I remember watching the world go to shit, decided might as well stick around for a little while longer. And here I am, here I remain. I guess my change would be convincing myself to go through with it. Even though so many amazing things have happened to me since then, university, crazy nights out with friends, girlfriends, kicking ass in school, I always find myself back in this same place, alone.

So I wanted to throw this question to the people on this forum. Idk, maybe reading through the other forum post made me a little sad cause a lot of people seemed to think having more money would make life worth living and that bums me out the system has failed people so spectacularly.

Important Edit: I guess by the logic of the show, you could go forward too in time, the question is DO not CHANGE, so you could go forward and check in on some people or see how things play out

 

[Darkover]

i would go back in time to the point my mum and dad meet and make sure they don't form a relationship therefore sparing me from this lifetime of misery in hell

 

[loser4ever4life]

i would go back in time to the point my mum and dad meet and make sure they don't form a relationship therefore sparing me from this lifetime of misery in hell

I understand this sentiment, to not have been born at all, truly I do. I was an accident, my birth parents put me up for adoption and I was sent to an abusive home. But this does go against the foundations of the question I laid out. I want to know what's a "real tangible decision you could have made". To elaborate on that point, what is a choice you have the capability to have altered, that you had some control over in your life, that you could have feasibly done different.

Don't think that life just happened to you, you've made it this far, you've had to make some decisions at some point. Your parents meeting is not one of them, hell, why deprive them of happiness? (I don't know what your relationship is with your parents is nor do I care, but I hope you do get the point) Why stop them from meeting? Why not just plot out from 9 months before you were born some event that would reasonably disrupt your parents life to the point where you would not be conceived.

I do thank you though for your response. It got me thinking, why not just wish none of it happened, none of it at all. Even though good things have happened and may continue to happen, if I was going to choose a point, why ~17. Why not go earlier, 15, 14 or 9? My life leading up to 17 was crap but the last few years haven't been bad per se, why not 21?

I guess to expand on my answer, ~17 was the last time where many different factors came together. I felt I "knew" the world. Despite being a dumbass teenager in high school, I had this sense that I had "seen it all" to a degree. So I was okay ctb. I was still growing up but I felt that I had enough of that. I felt I had some sense of community with those around me, that I made their lives somewhat better. Now that I'm older, I've developed more into my own person, I know what I will miss, I know there will be art that I will not make, good I will not do, places I cannot see, and people I will not meet. Around 17 was the perfect mix of naïve myopic worldview and misplaced sense of accomplishment.

 

[Darkover]

why deprive them of happiness?

Why should their happiness be prioritized over the person they created and left to drown in misery?
Happiness that results in someone else's suffering isn't really happiness. It's just ignorance in a prettier outfit

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd only want to go back in time to prevent this cruel, torturous existence ever happening in the first place as more than anything I wish I never suffered in this existence and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence of suffering all for the sake of it was even imposed. For me non-existence really is all that's positive and is all that can bring me relief from the abomination of existence where existing beings suffer so much all for the sake of it, I'd just never wish to be burdened with this futile, torturous existence and for me non-existence truly is all that's desirable. Existence just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for and I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all rather all I wish for is to not exist, I'll always see existence as something that just causes harm and suffering until all is gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway.

 

[L9my]

I would go back in time and tell myself to order SN instead of going to jump and to under no circumstances tell anyone about my suicidal ideation,
I'd give myself the source and instructions on who to help.
I'd also tell myself to drop computer science and pursue german.

 

[loser4ever4life]

I would go back in time and tell myself to order SN instead of going to jump and to under no circumstances tell anyone about my suicidal ideation,
I'd give myself the source and instructions on who to help.
I'd also tell myself to drop computer science and pursue german.

Can I ask why German?

 

[L9my]

Can I ask why German?

it's so much better than computer science and I had the choice between the two and I sadly chose computer science

 

[Hollowman]

i would go back in time to the point my mum and dad meet and make sure they don't form a relationship therefore sparing me from this lifetime of misery in hell

I said the exact same thing to my brother.

 

[bananaolympus]

I would go back when i was 12 and still hanging around with my childhood friends instead of just disappearing without a reason

 

[waitingfor]

I would tell my young self to be careful and never slip into alcoholism. Maybe leaving home earlier. Maybe trusting more in love. Maybe not researching with drugs how much I did (aamof not that much).

All that brain stew, and now I am living hell on Earth.

 

[VoidButterfly]

There was a man who I first met when he instant messaged me when I was a kid. I'd block him immediately.

 

[darksouls]

I would go back in time and tell myself to order SN instead of going to jump and to under no circumstances tell anyone about my suicidal ideation,
I'd give myself the source and instructions on who to help.
I'd also tell myself to drop computer science and pursue german.

you made a good choice
learning German is unnecessary