Thoughts while around people I love

[squillykilly]

Today I hung out with a friend for the first time in a long time, we hung out for like 5hrs straight, it was really awesome and our legs hurt afterwards. I opened up to him about some things, we window shopped and talked about our interests and such. However, on our way back to his car, on the top (7th) story of the parking lot, he brought me to an area right next to the elevator, it was sort of a cage, you could stand on it and see all the way down below. We both stood there in silence. I couldn't help but visualize the fall. Quick, painful. I felt a horrible gut feeling before he made a joke about if the screws broke right then and we both fell to our deaths, I laughed and joked that I'd kill him on the way down. But I can't get that idea out of my head, the visual of falling, hitting that tin roof below, bouncing and most likely surviving initially if I fall incorrectly.
I started to feel guilty about opening up about my loneliness to him aswell, I probably sound really needy to him, god I'm such a social failure.