Discussion Thoughts on choosing birthday as a suicide date?

[notanormalguy]

New member, might do an intro at some point but too lazy to rn. I been suicidal for a while but Im being very indecisive about dates. One date I find myself gravitating towards is my birthday because it feels ironic and it will be the best birthday gift I will have ever gotten, its cool to have same birthdate and deathdate, but also my friend (accidentally) gave me the idea that doing it on my birthday would be the 'least harmful' date because then the few remaining people who care about me would only have one date that is particularly triggering, but my birthday is also pretty close to the holidays and I wouldn't want to ruin that for them. Idk, I have never heard of anyone else committing suicide on their birthday.

 

[ultradespair]

Welcome, Higher chance of people checking up on you on that date and that leading to a failed attempt + possibly leaving you disabled etc so id recommend against it.

 

[Redacted24]

Welcome to the community... and sorry things have brought you here.

I think it's thoughtful of you to try and reduce the triggering dates for those that care about you, and are also being considerate of the holiday as well.

I don't really have any suggestions. No matter what date you go, it'll be a difficult one for those still here.

Others will likely have better insights.
Nice to meet you!

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I actually really like having your birthday as a CTB on a symbolic level. It's like the old days of being born in, and dying in, the same house. But what other people have pointed out is also valid. You would want to make sure no one was looking for you.

 

[Santana Idaho]

wow omg...i was going to do that...like over a year ago, i set my birthday as my death day because it's poetic (i'm a romantic.) and now it's coming up, idk what to do because i procrastinated so much that i haven't set anything in place. this happens every year.


Anyway, to your question, I think your birthday will always make holidays hard. I don't know that dying then would make it worse. From my anecdotal experience with following the stories of suicide victims and speaking to others for most of my life, I think most people choose a meaningful date. Whatever that date is. But it's also worth noting that a large amount of suicide attempts are impulsive. Usually from people who are not chronically suicidal like most people here. But the number I read is 48%. I've had many dates pass, and I think that it would be better for me to prepare and just keep everything ready in preparation for the impulse.

 

[TBONTB]

New member, might do an intro at some point but too lazy to rn. I been suicidal for a while but Im being very indecisive about dates. One date I find myself gravitating towards is my birthday because it feels ironic and it will be the best birthday gift I will have ever gotten, its cool to have same birthdate and deathdate, but also my friend (accidentally) gave me the idea that doing it on my birthday would be the 'least harmful' date because then the few remaining people who care about me would only have one date that is particularly triggering, but my birthday is also pretty close to the holidays and I wouldn't want to ruin that for them. Idk, I have never heard of anyone else committing suicide on their m

Welcome, I hope you find support here.

If you choose to CTB, don't think you birthday is a good choice, imo. People who want to remember you will never be able to separate the two events, give them the chance to if they want it.

 

[-Link-]

I would lean away from birthdays in general, but if one of the people you're considering is your mother, then I think it's particularly ill-advised to use this as a date.

Your father, too, but especially your mother because you were literally conceived and grew inside her body, and then she went through the process of giving birth to you. If you feel loved and cared for enough that it would make you think about it in this way, then I would guess she's also the kind of mother who looks forward to her child's birthday and celebrating it in some way. Avoid gut-punching her (them) on your birthday.

Anniversaries are godawful for loved ones left behind, but the anniversary of your death would look very different from the anniversary of your birth. Both unimaginably painful. But different.

To you or anyone else who feels so loved and cared for that this is a consideration for you, I would suggest allowing your loved ones to keep your birthday free and removed from your death day.

Without knowing you or your reasons or anything to do with your circumstances or backstory, I want to say: I hope you can exhaust all possible treatment and recovery options that would give you a chance to find relief in life rather than in death. If you have people in your life who love you and care about you so much that you would give this kind of consideration about the date, then give it all you can for them, even if you're unable to do it for yourself.

Whatever you're going through to be asking this question, I hope you can find your way through it and am wishing you well as can be under the circumstances.

 

[unluckysadness]

I wanted to ctb the day of my 18th birthday and 25 years later (yes 25...) I'm still considering this idea. Miserable fucking life ...

 

[bambibambam]

like someone said above, since it is your birthday it is likely that you will be checked up on a lot,, also i'd avoid a ctb attempt on birthdays and during holidays. if you even have a little bit of compassion for the people in your life who do care for you it's just not a good idea. days that are meant to be special will now be a bad memory to them. please be considerate of others….

 

[notanormalguy]

Welcome, Higher chance of people checking up on you on that date and that leading to a failed attempt + possibly leaving you disabled etc so id recommend against it.

Ah yeah true, I do doubt people would pull up for me but its not worth the risk

 

[Rynalia]

It has been already said that your b-day will attract people who at least have some interest in your life, either by obligation or personal attachment, making it a bit more likely that people will check on you more (although probably less at night, save for night owls).

That being said, I personally loathe my birthday and the closer it gets to that day, the worse my mental state declines. It's to the point that I almost always impulsively attempt on that day out of desperation. Unfortunately it's coming up soon and I'm already feeling it.

The only real concern about your birthday simultaneously being your death day is how those you may leave behind will take it.

Naturally, you can't control how they will feel about your passing, but if there are people who celebrate your birth, it will probably hurt them even more than usual.

To those who remain living after someone dies (at a not old age), assuming a (relatively) stable relationship, might already think "ah, if so and so was still alive they would be XX years old now". It's already going to be a day of simultaneous celebration and mourning in one.

Dying on your birthday by chance is one thing, but deliberately ctb'ing on that day could possibly introduce much more complex and heavier sentiments.

I'm totally just pulling what-if scenarios here, but since you're asking opinions, might as well look at what could happen, y'know?

 

[notanormalguy]

Welcome to the community... and sorry things have brought you here.

I think it's thoughtful of you to try and reduce the triggering dates for those that care about you, and are also being considerate of the holiday as well.

I don't really have any suggestions. No matter what date you go, it'll be a difficult one for those still here.

Others will likely have better insights.
Nice to meet you!

Nice to meet you all too

I actually really like having your birthday as a CTB on a symbolic level. It's like the old days of being born in, and dying in, the same house. But what other people have pointed out is also valid. You would want to make sure no one was looking for you.

wow omg...i was going to do that...like over a year ago, i set my birthday as my death day because it's poetic (i'm a romantic.) and now it's coming up, idk what to do because i procrastinated so much that i haven't set anything in place. this happens every year.


Anyway, to your question, I think your birthday will always make holidays hard. I don't know that dying then would make it worse. From my anecdotal experience with following the stories of suicide victims and speaking to others for most of my life, I think most people choose a meaningful date. Whatever that date is. But it's also worth noting that a large amount of suicide attempts are impulsive. Usually from people who are not chronically suicidal like most people here. But the number I read is 48%. I've had many dates pass, and I think that it would be better for me to prepare and just keep everything ready in preparation for the impulse.

Yeah tbh a lot of the birthday appeal for me is just trying to be symbolic and cool

Welcome, I hope you find support here.

If you choose to CTB, don't think you birthday is a good choice, imo. People who want to remember you will never be able to separate the two events, give them the chance to if they want it.

I would lean away from birthdays in general, but if one of the people you're considering is your mother, then I think it's particularly ill-advised to use this as a date.

Your father, too, but especially your mother because you were literally conceived and grew inside her body, and then she went through the process of giving birth to you. If you feel loved and cared for enough that it would make you think about it in this way, then I would guess she's also the kind of mother who looks forward to her child's birthday and celebrating it in some way. Avoid gut-punching her (them) on your birthday.

Anniversaries are godawful for loved ones left behind, but the anniversary of your death would look very different from the anniversary of your birth. Both unimaginably painful. But different.

To you or anyone else who feels so loved and cared for that this is a consideration for you, I would suggest allowing your loved ones to keep your birthday free and removed from your death day.

Without knowing you or your reasons or anything to do with your circumstances or backstory, I want to say: I hope you can exhaust all possible treatment and recovery options that would give you a chance to find relief in life rather than in death. If you have people in your life who love you and care about you so much that you would give this kind of consideration about the date, then give it all you can for them, even if you're unable to do it for yourself.

Whatever you're going through to be asking this question, I hope you can find your way through it and am wishing you well as can be under the circumstances.

It has been already said that your b-day will attract people who at least have some interest in your life, either by obligation or personal attachment, making it a bit more likely that people will check on you more (although probably less at night, save for night owls).

That being said, I personally loathe my birthday and the closer it gets to that day, the worse my mental state declines. It's to the point that I almost always impulsively attempt on that day out of desperation. Unfortunately it's coming up soon and I'm already feeling it.

The only real concern about your birthday simultaneously being your death day is how those you may leave behind will take it.

Naturally, you can't control how they will feel about your passing, but if there are people who celebrate your birth, it will probably hurt them even more than usual.

To those who remain living after someone dies (at a not old age), assuming a (relatively) stable relationship, might already think "ah, if so and so was still alive they would be XX years old now". It's already going to be a day of simultaneous celebration and mourning in one.

Dying on your birthday by chance is one thing, but deliberately ctb'ing on that day could possibly introduce much more complex and heavier sentiments.

I'm totally just pulling what-if scenarios here, but since you're asking opinions, might as well look at what could happen, y'know?

like someone said above, since it is your birthday it is likely that you will be checked up on a lot,, also i'd avoid a ctb attempt on birthdays and during holidays. if you even have a little bit of compassion for the people in your life who do care for you it's just not a good idea. days that are meant to be special will now be a bad memory to them. please be considerate of others….

Yeah, I mean i haven't really seen this scenario talked about, I think it would probably vary from person to person but you all are probably right about it not necessarily making it easier, I guess i kind of though about it like form my perspective i would probably prefer it to be all one day. my relationship with my parents is a funny thing that ill probably traumadump about when i bother to do an intro but yeah I do not want to hurt my mother, although suicide will always hurt her.

 

[Nightfoot]

I would rather leave my birthday as a day those who cared about me could have for positive remembrances of me.