I seriously believe it, what else would this be. Because then why can't we leave, why is it so hard. Everyone is trying to keep us alive, yet death might be the only thing that can free us from our suffering.
It's getting worse from day to day. I feel so numb when it comes to anything resembling joy, but my grief and pain is stronger than ever.
I just want to leave. The amounts of times I was falling asleap wishing that I wouldn't ever wake up. If there was any benevolent god, the least they could do is to fufill this wish.
If there is purpuse to live and my existence. I just don't feel that the purpuse has anything to do with me. I have nothing out of it. It's like when people fight wars for "greater causes". I don't care why I'm here, I just want out, I don't owe anyone anything.
My story is in dire need of conclusion. When now I think about death, I feel light and pleasant. Unless I think too graphically about the method or something. But if I only think about what it will be after, I feel only freedom, there is no fear anymore. Why should I be afraid of nothing?
It's getting worse from day to day. I feel so numb when it comes to anything resembling joy, but my grief and pain is stronger than ever.
I just want to leave. The amounts of times I was falling asleap wishing that I wouldn't ever wake up. If there was any benevolent god, the least they could do is to fufill this wish.
If there is purpuse to live and my existence. I just don't feel that the purpuse has anything to do with me. I have nothing out of it. It's like when people fight wars for "greater causes". I don't care why I'm here, I just want out, I don't owe anyone anything.
My story is in dire need of conclusion. When now I think about death, I feel light and pleasant. Unless I think too graphically about the method or something. But if I only think about what it will be after, I feel only freedom, there is no fear anymore. Why should I be afraid of nothing?
