Thinking about public self-immolation.

[ExitStageLeft]

My father burned himself alive in our back yard as he siphoned gasoline from his truck to his car. I'd like to do the same now, but I want to do it publicly. I'd like in particular to send a message to the judicial system.

 

[randomz]

is there any other reason you want to CTB? I personaly don't think that any cause is worth it to commit suicide just to send a message.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Yeah. I've been criminalized to the point that supporting myself is impossible. I have no capital. I mean that I literally have *no* money or assets. None. Objectively nothing. My life is literally irreparable. I am a NEET at 31 and I loathe it.

I'd go to the local courthouse, douse myself in gasoline in the parking lot, and set myself ablaze on the steps. Write some e-mails and go.

If Americans had an iota of spine and were wiling to revolt under these conditions, I would throw my body into the grinder and be a meat shield. Death doing anything is preferable to life under these conditions.

Life is beautiful and fragile and I never appreciated it. I won't get another chance. But autonomy is just as important. If I cannot live functionally I would rather die in such a way as to highlight the imbecility and short-sightedness of the American judicial system, which does nothing to reintegrate the man into his society. The message, I'm certain, will be dismissed, but the act will not be.

 

[Meretlein]

It won't send the message you want, they will just shrug it off as some crazy guy. I'm not saying that's what you are but that's what people will think. I understand why you feel this way but it won't work out the way you want it to.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

I know it won't. Fucking Buddhist monks during the Vietnam War couldn't alter the course of things by doing it. And clearly, I'm no monk.

I hate the structure of this society. Not all society - this one in particular. It makes no active effort at all to salvage people who might have been useful at one point.

 

[randomz]

I myself work in the law industry and get what you mean. I might not live in USA, I live in Eastern Europe but it's the same here. Society just doesn't care about the single person. At leas most societies, there are countries out there that look after their citizens pretty well.
That being said @Meretlein has a point - I think your message might go unnoticed. I don't know what your situation is but I am sure there must be a way to find a job and live a somewhat happy life? Even at minimum wage people could be happy and feel fulfilled. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Whatever the outcome of the coronavirus outbreak, I'm going to assume some of you will live to see the dawn of whatever comes after in some position of influence. If possible, if in any position to influence things, try to find a way to reintegrate criminals into the system no matter their crimes.

 

[jgm63]

Yeah. I've been criminalized to the point that supporting myself is impossible. I have no capital. I mean that I literally have *no* money or assets. None. Objectively nothing. My life is literally irreparable. I am a NEET at 31 and I loathe it.

I'd go to the local courthouse, douse myself in gasoline in the parking lot, and set myself ablaze on the steps. Write some e-mails and go.

If Americans had an iota of spine and were wiling to revolt under these conditions, I would throw my body into the grinder and be a meat shield. Death doing anything is preferable to life under these conditions.

Life is beautiful and fragile and I never appreciated it. I won't get another chance. But autonomy is just as important. If I cannot live functionally I would rather die in such a way as to highlight the imbecility and short-sightedness of the American judicial system, which does nothing to reintegrate the man into his society.

People WAY older than you have rebuilt from zero (or worse than zero), and made big success stories, in various definitions of what success means. Now okay, you may need to wait a few months for some of the current events to pass, although you could be doing some prep work during that time....

It's your choice of course, but I just wanted to offer another possible way to look at it.....

Although I know the system can suck, you don't necessarily have to make that fight yours, unless you *truly* want to, in which case, fair enough I suppose....

 

[BridgeJumper]

Why do you want to suffer so much if that wont prove anything? I think burning alive is the worst pain you can experience

 

[ExitStageLeft]

That was the problem initially - everyone told me "sit down and wait until it passes". That was seventeen years ago. I dropped out of high school over this. I never started life. And as these problems worsen, I worsen as a person. I have been in social quarantine for the most part for over half of my life. I never tried to find a sustainable career because the intricate system of certifications and regulations is fine-grained to weed out people seeking a second chance. And because my license is revoked. And because I am geared towards knowledge work of the kind it is impossible for me to get into.

I am tired of being constantly confronted with the high cost of entry into society. I am tired of being confronted with society as a power alien to me. I am tired of society. Not individuals in society, but society as a whole. I am tired of the assumption of recidivism of a particular type of crime. I am tired of the law, in all its majestic equality.

The solution to my particular problems is the radical reconstitution of society - massive sustained development of public transportation; the banning of background checks, whether credit or crime-based, for non-sensitive positions; structured and malleable reintegration services, essentially round-the-clock free teletherapy - but this is not a possibility at this moment until well after the collapse of the current order. I don't have time to wait. Especially given the precarity of my NEET situation in the current depression- my mother works in insurance. That industry is about to go tits up. She would be objectively better prepared to weather it without my problems.

The only alternative now is for me to pray for total social collapse, and then to just... walk away and find an intentional community. If I survive intact and well till then.

"You shouldn't have driven drunk, then!"
You shouldn't have produced a soul-destroying system of infinite complexity to reinforce class privilege, which produces mental illness and does nothing to actively improve it. You shouldn't have preyed upon people's fear to produce a penal system that punishes the guilty long after their sentence has been served. Dick.

"You just have a psychiatric disorder."
I have a capitalism disorder.

"You want everything for free."
Yeah, kinda. At least the barest necessities you expect me to have to integrate and "rehabilitate". I would almost have preferred to have been given a short stint in prison back then, if I would have been taught a trade and placed with a job, to this garbage.

That being impossible, I want to burn. Death is the rational choice for me.

 

[TheLastSacrifice]

It won't send the message you want, they will just shrug it off as some crazy guy. I'm not saying that's what you are but that's what people will think. I understand why you feel this way but it won't work out the way you want it to.

I disagree if there are enough of us armed we could overthrow at least on a local level before we were stomped down.

 

[Meretlein]

I disagree if there are enough of us armed we could overthrow at least on a local level before we were stomped down.

It's possible to temporary overthrow LE but not plausible and any rebel group would be stomped out real quick if they somehow succeeded.

 

[Ghost2211]

My take on it is your message will be lost. I get where you're coming from though, and I'm sorry about your father. In the end all that matters is how you feel About it, and what you feel you're telling the world. This would be a terrible way to go, but I'm sure you already know that.

Sending you love and hugs. I'm here if you need a friend.

 

[TAW122]

I don't fancy the thought of being burned alive as it's full of pain and agony even though I know you want to send a strong and clear message to a fucked up society. I'm not trying to tell you to choose another method if you are already set on self-immolation, but keep in mind that it is NOT at a pleasant way to go and there is a very good chance your SI would go in full swing to stop you from going all the way through. These are just things to keep in mind. Anyways, I hope you are able to achieve your goals and cause as well as find peace.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Wow I don't know anyone that has thought of going this way.

 

[Cedi]

This is odd. I just saw you on twitter and now here. You have the same profile picture. I think it is you. I was looking for sodium nitrite tweets.
Don't burn yourself, man. You won't change anything with it. What happen to your SN plan? You won't do this because you haven't got emetics?

 

[Whitewash11235814]

I recommend against self-immolation, especially if its public. You could survive and sustain severe burns and that wouldn't be ideal.

 

[Ardesevent]

Self immolation is a pretty painful way to go out, and it might not work in public. There's a 25% survival rate, and it'll take about an hour for you to die. Firemen and paramedics could show up before you can go.
Trying to send a message with your death, even if it isn't received, is pretty admirable, though.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

This is odd. I just saw you on twitter and now here. You have the same profile picture. I think it is you. I was looking for sodium nitrite tweets.
Don't burn yourself, man. You won't change anything with it. What happen to your SN plan? You won't do this because you haven't got emetics?

I got the SN. But I don't want to do it at home. And now, thanks to Glorious Leader, it's looking like home is the only place to do it in (the pandemic itself, while doubtless serious and requiring social controls, is going to be used to enforce structural adjustments while preserving capitalism- a massive reduction of the living standards and quality of life of the working-class, bought off with temporary UBI and tax credit measures, to reduce pollution, complexity of control, etc; you're being conditioned to accept 19th century living standards for Malthusian reasons that aren't real.).

The whole thing is capitalism, from the way criminals like yours truly are treated to the structure of transportation to the very capacity to end life voluntarily under the conditions of one's own choosing. I hate it. I'd rather be a feudal peasant, with a life expectancy of forty.

I have to die. And I have to die because of the particular structure of this society and my reactions to it. I cannot acclimate. I want to die. I would like to do it in a clean hotel room.

But yes, 90% of all of our problems relate to the mode of production, whether you are poor and criminalized or wealthy and alienated from yourself.

 

[HadEnough1974]

My father burned himself alive in our back yard as he siphoned gasoline from his truck to his car. I'd like to do the same now, but I want to do it publicly. I'd like in particular to send a message to the judicial system.

Your father's incident was an accident. So what happens if they put out the fire and you survive in constant pain for the rest of your life.

Still want to send that message to the judicial system?

You think they'll be listening to your agony as the dressing is changed daily?

Do you think the judicial system will care that you burnt yourself to a crisp?

Do you think anyone will will pay attention during this pandemic?

I say it like I see it.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

No it wasn't. He was working with my grandpa and got his attention before he did it.

 

[HadEnough1974]

No it wasn't. He was working with my grandpa and got his attention before he did it.

You've ignored everything else I said. If you burn yourself, no one will care or pay attention. It's carona 24/7. You won't even be a side note.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

It's worse than that.

I have been under quarantine, with sporadic efforts at living, for *a decade and a half*. I don't have basic life skills. And if things tend now the way I believe they'll tend, I am dead very soon regardless.

If there were a community I could get to outside of this one, I'd be better off. I see the tendency of things clearly. We'll demarcate everything Pre-Crisis and Post-Crisis (just like the comics we have been taught to want). And if you weren't well-positioned Pre-Crisis, you'll die quick Post-Crisis.

Think of all the drug addicts who will die in the coming weeks and months. All the prisoners. All the friendless and hated. "Useless eaters".

If there are riots or violence soon, I'll join in and try my best to die in the carnage.

 

[yetme]

My father burned himself alive in our back yard as he siphoned gasoline from his truck to his car. I'd like to do the same now, but I want to do it publicly. I'd like in particular to send a message to the judicial system.

That's gonna be painful as fuck. explosion would be better imho

 

[ExitStageLeft]

That's gonna be painful as fuck. explosion would be better imho

Can't acquire it with no money. And if I had money, I wouldn't think about doing it.

 

[LastRide]

I totally get it that you want to make a point, I'm with you on that level...but I'm not with you for the method, bloody hell, I don't even want to think of it ! It's going to hurt like hell and if you have some very committed life-savers out there while you're doing it in public you might get saved last minute, i.e. not die but have all your skinn burnt and your face disfigured....and you'll be in agony for years ! I've known a survivor of severe burning (not intentional - plane crash, sole survivor !), he looked like a zombie and he said the pain was terrible still years afterwards. I admired him for having such a positive outlook on life nevertheless, whle I was young and healthy and pretty at the time and already all I wanted was to kill myself....So please, can you not make the same point you're trying to make by publicly shooting yourself in front of the ministry of justice or something of the kind? Something safer and faster and less painful? Please ! I cannot stand the thought of you having to suffer so much.

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Can't get a gun. The American State, out of a sense of self-preservation, has dictated that felons cannot possess firearms, because criminals are nothing but criminals and go through life looking for reasons to be criminals.

 

[LastRide]

Can't get a gun. The American State, out of a sense of self-preservation, has dictated that felons cannot possess firearms, because criminals are nothing but criminals and go through life looking for reasons to be criminals.

Well if you see yourself as a felon you should be able to get a gun anyways...lots of other felons around who have one ! But the gun was just an idea, maybe there are other less painful ways of dying in public which are less traumatic?

 

[ExitStageLeft]

Well if you see yourself as a felon you should be able to get a gun anyways...lots of other felons around who have one ! But the gun was just an idea, maybe there are other less painful ways of dying in public which are less traumatic?

Like what?

 

[JSauter]

Do I have this correct: You got in trouble with the law at 14 and it's still on your record 17 years later?