Venting Thinking about family makes me feel guilty

[Reflection]

It's the only thing that still makes me fight with my decision to ctb. Especially wince I have a younger sister who's still a minor and who thinks about ending it as well. Whether seriously or not I'm not sure, but even dropped out of school last year and I tried helping her out get back for now...so I am pretty sure that if I killed myself it will make things even worse and add even more trauma. It's just cruel no matter how I think about it and I wish there was another way.