Nothing that alleviates my constant mental torment works anymore, I used to take kratom and that was great until it suddenly started giving me severe anxiety and now I can't take it anymore without getting anxiety, it was the only thing that successfully made alcohol less appealing and my fucking brain made it not work anymore, so now my drinking is slowly getting worse and more frequent since it put me in hospital last autumn, if it ever gets to the point where I'm getting drunk in the morning again I think that's the point where I'm gunna walk the plank
I just cannot cope with existence and my reality sober, I tried for a time but it's just too too painful and too tortuous because of my severe OCD, autism, panic disorder and tourettes, I truly think that sobriety is just not possible for some people, I think some people just have brains and circumstances that are so fucked that there's just no quality of life without being on something
Yet the only thing that somewhat alleviated my anguish that is nowhere near as destructive as alcohol just doesn't work anymore, it just feels so fucking cruel
I just cannot cope with existence and my reality sober, I tried for a time but it's just too too painful and too tortuous because of my severe OCD, autism, panic disorder and tourettes, I truly think that sobriety is just not possible for some people, I think some people just have brains and circumstances that are so fucked that there's just no quality of life without being on something
Yet the only thing that somewhat alleviated my anguish that is nowhere near as destructive as alcohol just doesn't work anymore, it just feels so fucking cruel
