The fear of a failed suicide attempt is why I have not attempted suicde all these years

[FireFox]

I have been suicidal since I was 21 years old and the reason why I have never attempted suicide is because of the fear of being permanently disabled if it goes wrong.

I have read so many stories of sucides going wrong and studying the impact on suicide on the body which has made me scared to attempt sucide all these years. These stories listed here scared me the most.

●Train sucide - This story scared me the most. This British woman tried to kill herself by throwing herself infront of a train and ended up losing both her legs.


● Beth Matthews. Beth Matthews tried to kill herself by throwing herself by jumping off a motorway bridge in 2019. She ended up with a collapsed lung, a lacerated spleen, lacerated liver and lacerated stomach, broken legs, broken ankles, a broken femur, an unstable spine fracture and pelvis fractures causing permanent nerve damage.

On her blog and on X she shared the impact her permanent injuries had on her life. She tried so hard to give herself a good life and ended up killing herself successfully a couples of years after her failed suicide attempt.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ma...ews/beth-matthews-saved-lives-no-26011060.amp

● Failed hanging stories - Jack Barnes. This man tried to kill himself by hanging himself and was left in a vegetative state for two years after his suicide attempt. He eventually died from complications of his illness. But for 2 years he was trapped in a vegetative state that is pure torture.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wa...s-news/my-son-left-brain-damaged-17448133.amp

Now I am at a stage where my passive suicidal ideation has progressed into severe suicidal ideation. I am now determined to ensure any attempt I do doesn't fail,

 

[Amarajoy]

Do we know what substance she ingested to finally ctb?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I remember reading the failed hanging attempt made by jack and I felt so sad for him because he did not deserve to suffer in such a state. I'm so glad that his suffering is now over though and how he now no longer has to suffer in existence but fuck is it so unfair and cruel to suffer for 2 years in such a condition before he could be released from the torture of life. I read the news article about him that you linked in your post and I got extremely pissed off when they say "jack sadly died at age 20" and when the people calling the mother selfish for keeping the son alive in a state be referred to as online trolls. These two things made me so angry because these sadistic and disgusting pro lifers somehow consider non existence to be the worst tragedy ever compared to suffering immensely in existence for as long as possible. Additionally, because the mother can't give a valid counterargument as to how keeping her son alive in such a state isn't cruel or selfish, the news article goes out of their way to say that she got "bullied" for it by "online trolls".

The pro lifers who keep suicidal people alive in such a horrific state are so fucking sadistic and selfish. I loathe them all

 

[seasonsdied]

Guillotines were awesome!

 

[Amarajoy]

Jack Barnes was even worse than a vegetative state. He learned to blink to answer questions. That means he recovered enough to have some awareness. Who knows what he was enduring and it sounds like his mom would have forced him to endure it for as long as his body would hold out. It was only a sheer act of mercy the illness he caught that took him out.

 

[FireFox]

Do we know what substance she ingested to finally ctb?

@Amarajoy I have no idea what she took. Reading Beth's blog was so sad because she really fought so hard to live but her mental illness was just too powerful

I remember reading the failed hanging attempt made by jack and I felt so sad for him because he did not deserve to suffer in such a state. I'm so glad that his suffering is now over though and how he now no longer has to suffer in existence but fuck is it so unfair and cruel to suffer for 2 years in such a condition before he could be released from the torture of life. I read the news article about him that you linked in your post and I got extremely pissed off when they say "jack sadly died at age 20" and when the people calling the mother selfish for keeping the son alive in a state be referred to as online trolls. These two things made me so angry because these sadistic and disgusting pro lifers somehow consider non existence to be the worst tragedy ever compared to suffering immensely in existence for as long as possible. Additionally, because the mother can't give a valid counterargument as to how keeping her son alive in such a state isn't cruel or selfish, the news article goes out of their way to say that she got "bullied" for it by "online trolls".

The pro lifers who keep suicidal people alive in such a horrific state are so fucking sadistic and selfish. I loathe them all

@ijustwishtodie If that was my boy I am telling the doctors to turn off the machine. To keep someone alive like that is just so cruel and selfish

 

[Amarajoy]

@Amarajoy I have no idea what she took. Reading Beth's blog was so sad because she really fought so hard to live but her mental illness was just too powerful

@ijustwishtodie If that was my boy I am telling the doctors to turn off the machine. To keep someone alive like that is just so cruel and selfish

It is super sad. Makes me angry anyone would suggest someone suffering like that is selfish or going to hell or a coward. Must be nice not to know such suffering.

 

[jokster18]

Is it safe to use a generator in a car . I know they make them with sensors. That will turn off the generator if PPM is too hight. Is it still lethal if you leave a window open to let some air in to alllow the sensors to not shut off the generator.

 

[slowdance]

I have seen posts on here of failed attempts at SN that result in no permanent effects. The stomach pumping at the hospital sounds traumatizing though

 

[lonergirl_26]

A woman in China (I think) survived being ran over by 27 train carriages. She didn't attempt suicide. It was an accident but she survived. Lost her arm & leg and had a shit ton of other injuries. Ever since I heard about that I never wanted to ctb via a train. I'm terrified of survival.