Venting The church keeps disappointing me.

[hoppybunny]

I already talked about how the fear of hell is the only thing keeping me religious. Well today i went to confession to clear my conscious before i CTB and honestly i felt much better after cause my priest was very kind and compassionate and offered to set an appointment to talk to me.
So i will talk to him again one more time before my CTB date (I've changed my method from shotgun to FSH in a hotel cause i didn't want my gun purchase to affect my family becoming citizens for any reason.)

But the reason i was dissapointed was because my priest told me to talk to a counseling service that specifically was based in the catholic faith and told me they would take me even if i had no money.

And i believed him cause the church is supposed to be about helping people. And i was just so disappointed after calling them. Their price per session was a whopping $150. I can't even imagine coughing up that money once a week even if i had it.

Like are we as catholics not supposed to help people out of the goodness of our hearts?!?!

And when i said i couldn't afford it, she offered to reduce the price but i told her i had no money and she instead recommended me to a program that "might" cover 5 sessions with them. So they would still be collecting money from a church that could be used to feed hungry and poor people.

I was extremely disappointed. It's things like this that have caused me to become disillusioned by the church.

My church in Nigeria was money hungry and told us we would go to hell if we didn't pay tithes and my current church and just American churches in general have no sense of community whatsoever.

It's so tiring.


I complain about this alot yet still believe so honestly it's my fault that i continue to be disappointed.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Everything is for sale in America

 

[Unsure and Useless]

But the reason i was dissapointed was because my priest told me to talk to a counseling service that specifically was based in the catholic faith and told me they would take me even if i had no money.

And i believed him cause the church is supposed to be about helping people. And i was just so disappointed after calling them. Their price per session was a whopping $150. I can't even imagine coughing up that money once a week even if i had it.

I've never been referred to a therapist by a priest before (considering the fact that suicide is a sin), but I have gone to other institutions that were supposed to help yet passed me off to some stranger, who ultimately wouldn't help me in the end, just so they didn't have to deal with me anymore

I don't want to presume that I know how you feel, but the feeling of trying to get help and better yourself only to be met with people who don't care about your effort is relatable. It's always when things go south that people bring up "affordable resources", yet in practice, those resources are hardly affordable. At this point, they're probably just there to cover their ass if anyone CTBs

Regardless, you didn't deserve to have that experience. Recovery should be a thing that's accessible for all people, no matter what their socioeconomic status is

Like are we as catholics not supposed to help people out of the goodness of our hearts?!?!

As an American Catholic, it's likely because the church—and, by extension, their congregations—don't see mental illness as a real issue. Although, it's more accurate to say they believe it's an issue that can easily be solved by praying to God a couple of times

And when i said i couldn't afford it, she offered to reduce the price but i told her i had no money and she instead recommended me to a program that "might" cover 5 sessions with them.

Similar to the situation I was in. These people tend to have this preconceived notion that our issues are something that can be fixed in 5 sessions or less despite how deeply rooted they are. Either that, or they think your problem is something "irrelevant" like anxiety, depression, and/or other mental illnesses angsty teens romanticize to cope

American churches in general have no sense of community whatsoever.

American hustle culture and the hyper individualism that comes with it have metaphorically salted the earth for any and all communities within its borders. I'm not surprised that even the church has been affected

I complain about this alot yet still believe so honestly it's my fault that i continue to be disappointed.

There's nothing wrong with vocalizing your disappointment with an institution that promised to help you only to abandon you in your time in need. It's only natural to feel that way after your efforts to get better is just brushed off

 

[hoppybunny]

I've never been referred to a therapist by a priest before (considering the fact that suicide is a sin), but I have gone to other institutions that were supposed to help yet passed me off to some stranger, who ultimately wouldn't help me in the end, just so they didn't have to deal with me anymore

I don't want to presume that I know how you feel, but the feeling of trying to get help and better yourself only to be met with people who don't care about your effort is relatable. It's always when things go south that people bring up "affordable resources", yet in practice, those resources are hardly affordable. At this point, they're probably just there to cover their ass if anyone CTBs

Regardless, you didn't deserve to have that experience. Recovery should be a thing that's accessible for all people, no matter what their socioeconomic status is


As an American Catholic, it's likely because the church—and, by extension, their congregations—don't see mental illness as a real issue. Although, it's more accurate to say they believe it's an issue that can easily be solved by praying to God a couple of times


Similar to the situation I was in. These people tend to have this preconceived notion that our issues are something that can be fixed in 5 sessions or less despite how deeply rooted they are. Either that, or they think your problem is something "irrelevant" like anxiety, depression, and/or other mental illnesses angsty teens romanticize to cope


American hustle culture and the hyper individualism that comes with it have metaphorically salted the earth for any and all communities within its borders. I'm not surprised that even the church has been affected



There's nothing wrong with vocalizing your disappointment with an institution that promised to help you only to abandon you in your time in need. It's only natural to feel that way after your efforts to get better is just brushed off

Thanks for ur kind words. U were honestly spot on about everything. A lot of times I've sought help, i was just passed on to someone else. My only 2 helpful therapist were tied to my school so even though they were "free" it was more like they came with my tuition. Which was expensive for my first school. My parents paid for it but it was honestly a waste of my tuition to go to the school.

I was genuinely not prepared for how big schools treat their students. Literally was treated like an inconvenience many times. Switched schools but home situation didn't get better. As I was starting to get better the school suddenly decided to implement a 10 session limit because like u said most ppl think that our problems can be solved in like 5 sessions. And everyone who needs more help should shell out all the money they have to get help.
It's terrible.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Catholicism still seems like a gold mine of wisdom to me but in the end it's just another thing bipedal apes do. There's simply no way a perfect god would make avoiding the inferno contingent on believing in Adam & Eve, Noah's Ark, and a piece of bread magically but invisibly turning into him. He would just show up and tell you what to do. He would "reveal" scientific knowledge instead of highly questionable Jewish history. He would talk to people everywhere and not make them wait a thousand years until someone showed up to preach to them. Etc.

 

[hoppybunny]

Catholicism still seems like a gold mine of wisdom to me but in the end it's just another thing bipedal apes do. There's simply no way a perfect god would make avoiding the inferno contingent on believing in Adam & Eve, Noah's Ark, and a piece of bread magically but invisibly turning into him. He would just show up and tell you what to do. He would "reveal" scientific knowledge instead of highly questionable Jewish history. He would talk to people everywhere and not make them wait a thousand years until someone showed up to preach to them. Etc.

I completely agree. I'm in a mental prison. Like i fully understand Christianity/catholicism is stupid as hell but the what if part of my brain is super loud.

Like in general the catholic practice is very dumb and i believe Christianity itself values bad people more than good people. They're more focused on helping bad people repent than helping protect good ppl.

It's why they're ok with rapists continuing to participate in church but shame their victims for being pregnant.

 

[Worndown]

I already talked about how the fear of hell is the only thing keeping me religious. Well today i went to confession to clear my conscious before i CTB and honestly i felt much better after cause my priest was very kind and compassionate and offered to set an appointment to talk to me.
So i will talk to him again one more time before my CTB date (I've changed my method from shotgun to FSH in a hotel cause i didn't want my gun purchase to affect my family becoming citizens for any reason.)

But the reason i was dissapointed was because my priest told me to talk to a counseling service that specifically was based in the catholic faith and told me they would take me even if i had no money.

And i believed him cause the church is supposed to be about helping people. And i was just so disappointed after calling them. Their price per session was a whopping $150. I can't even imagine coughing up that money once a week even if i had it.

Like are we as catholics not supposed to help people out of the goodness of our hearts?!?!

And when i said i couldn't afford it, she offered to reduce the price but i told her i had no money and she instead recommended me to a program that "might" cover 5 sessions with them. So they would still be collecting money from a church that could be used to feed hungry and poor people.

I was extremely disappointed. It's things like this that have caused me to become disillusioned by the church.

My church in Nigeria was money hungry and told us we would go to hell if we didn't pay tithes and my current church and just American churches in general have no sense of community whatsoever.

It's so tiring.


I complain about this alot yet still believe so honestly it's my fault that i continue to be disappointed.

Preaching to the choir...

 

[SpanishLullaby]

The worst "help" I ever got was from a church. Most churches these days are social clubs.

Once upon a time the church was supposed to be about helping the community. Now its about hierarchy, oppression, submission, control or flying the pastor around on private jets.

I think you should give the "what if" part of your brain to your God. If He's really there for you, this will get sorted out. It sounds like you are in a proverbial "Hell" now dealing with the ambiguity.


"The Church" is nothing more than a body of human beings so they will fail to be perfect just like all other human beings. Some a bit worst than others.

You mentioned being from Nigeria: Where are you now? Would an online church be helpful to you at all? Asking just in case you are looking for something even as basic as a "good word". There are a handful on youtube. I can't remember any now but if you are interested I will try to dig up at least one.

 

[hoppybunny]

Preaching to the choir...

Confused what u mean by this.

The worst "help" I ever got was from a church. Most churches these days are social clubs.

Once upon a time the church was supposed to be about helping the community. Now its about hierarchy, oppression, submission, control or flying the pastor around on private jets.

I think you should give the "what if" part of your brain to your God. If He's really there for you, this will get sorted out. It sounds like you are in a proverbial "Hell" now dealing with the ambiguity.


"The Church" is nothing more than a body of human beings so they will fail to be perfect just like all other human beings. Some a bit worst than others.

You mentioned being from Nigeria: Where are you now? Would an online church be helpful to you at all? Asking just in case you are looking for something even as basic as a "good word". There are a handful on youtube. I can't remember any now but if you are interested I will try to dig up at least one.

I'm in the US now but I would love some online recommendations. No harm in exploring. When i don't go to mass irl i tend to watch heart of the nation mass which is kinda nice.

 

[SpanishLullaby]

I've dug around Youtube when I was in my phase of reading and studying various religious teachings. For a Christian, this is my top recommendation.


Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley. Alfred Street.

Depending on the type of person you are, the below info may be helpful to be aware of. Let me give you some background:

• He is the 8th pastor of a 200+ year old church. He literally feeds the poor, gives scholarships to needy children and helps the body AND COMMUNITY when in need. NO PRIVATE JETS.
• They have multiple ministries where members can get REAL help in various areas to support their lives from a 360 degree perspective.
• He is super smart. An Engineer and I think he later completed his Doctorate in Biblical Studies. Another woman in the church Dr. Judy has her PhD as well. They are both bible scholars. Dont know her role but they seek to be biblically accurate and relay the true Christ message. (I like his sermons, by far, the best; but both may appeal to you.)
• He has a public meeting about the finances and makes them available for people to scrutinize annually.
• He has led his church through change and some tough times. In general, there are 3 groupings within any church who may not agree on every interpretation perfectly however he is able to communicate with ALL of them and keep his body together. I see this as a MAJOR accomplishment. It shows not only his dedication to the "good word" and the people, but it also demonstrates the peoples dedication to that church; as well as the body's ability to see the bigger picture and not get caught in stupid squabbles that divide the masses.
• He uses the word in detail to prove out any conclusion he makes whether you agree or not. He will also explain where people are taking parts of the Bible out of its intended context. One example: Many believe that the bible does not support women in leadership. He has explained why thats a fallacy.
• If you are a conservative traditionalist that holds tight to Leviticus type principles he has explained a co-existing viewpoint to consider using Biblical text.
• He's a father of 2 boys and has raised them through college, despite being divorced. He got divorced while managing that church so imagine the "drama of it all!" Yes we all know there are plenty that would judge that but he's managed the church through that too.

If you are open enough to see all of these as positives, to those who truly need a good word, support and love (such as yourself) you will give this guy a chance.

They stream live on Sunday Mornings. You can also look through Youtube where many of his older sermons are posted. I have never heard a bad sermon yet.

Note: He may have guest pastors that are not as "talented" so you may just want to primarily stick with his sermons.


I hope this helps...

 

[badatparties]

Sorry to break it to you, but religion is a scam. It god wanted to talk to humans, relaying the message through some random idiot in the desert is the dumbest way imaginable.

The truth is, random idiots in the desert made the whole thing up.

 

[hoppybunny]

I've dug around Youtube when I was in my phase of reading and studying various religious teachings. For a Christian, this is my top recommendation.


Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley. Alfred Street.

Depending on the type of person you are, the below info may be helpful to be aware of. Let me give you some background:

• He is the 8th pastor of a 200+ year old church. He literally feeds the poor, gives scholarships to needy children and helps the body AND COMMUNITY when in need. NO PRIVATE JETS.
• They have multiple ministries where members can get REAL help in various areas to support their lives from a 360 degree perspective.
• He is super smart. An Engineer and I think he later completed his Doctorate in Biblical Studies. Another woman in the church Dr. Judy has her PhD as well. They are both bible scholars. Dont know her role but they seek to be biblically accurate and relay the true Christ message. (I like his sermons, by far, the best; but both may appeal to you.)
• He has a public meeting about the finances and makes them available for people to scrutinize annually.
• He has led his church through change and some tough times. In general, there are 3 groupings within any church who may not agree on every interpretation perfectly however he is able to communicate with ALL of them and keep his body together. I see this as a MAJOR accomplishment. It shows not only his dedication to the "good word" and the people, but it also demonstrates the peoples dedication to that church; as well as the body's ability to see the bigger picture and not get caught in stupid squabbles that divide the masses.
• He uses the word in detail to prove out any conclusion he makes whether you agree or not. He will also explain where people are taking parts of the Bible out of its intended context. One example: Many believe that the bible does not support women in leadership. He has explained why thats a fallacy.
• If you are a conservative traditionalist that holds tight to Leviticus type principles he has explained a co-existing viewpoint to consider using Biblical text.
• He's a father of 2 boys and has raised them through college, despite being divorced. He got divorced while managing that church so imagine the "drama of it all!" Yes we all know there are plenty that would judge that but he's managed the church through that too.

If you are open enough to see all of these as positives, to those who truly need a good word, support and love (such as yourself) you will give this guy a chance.

They stream live on Sunday Mornings. You can also look through Youtube where many of his older sermons are posted. I have never heard a bad sermon yet.

Note: He may have guest pastors that are not as "talented" so you may just want to primarily stick with his sermons.


I hope this helps...

Thank so much. Will check him out!!