Spaintbrain
Nothing left.
- Jan 23, 2023
- 5
Its incredible how much trauma can affect a single person.
So about a year after a painful breakup that was still on my mind (this was 2-3 years ago), I developed a codependency to a girl that was 3-4 years younger than me who lied about her age, her race, her background, as well as being SA'd and abused by her parents. But perhaps most painful was the eventual knowledge that she had "accepted" me for who i was just so she could fabricate rape allegations and accuse me of being a pedophile once I found out her real age. But I still refused to believe that a human being could be this evil.
Up until she sexually assaulted me. No one believes me on this btw, they think a 13 year old is incapable of sexually assaulting a then-16 year old. I can never truly process what she did, it results in confused feelings and a strange sadness that never leaves me. I cant fucking sleep now, i dream of what she did, pure terror dreams that make me wake up depressed and devoid of any energy to the extent that im scared of sleeping. I can't do this anymore, i have an emotional and physical breakdown everytime i see a minor in my vicinity because it reminds me of my experience with her. It hurts so fucking much i am so tired of all this constant pain i just want to fucking die already. might not even post this because i hate how this block of text reads.
My perception of women and children is forever ruined, people mistake my kindness for weakness and just try to psychologically torment me in ways i didnt even think were possible. I hate my life, i hate everything i hate everyone.
So about a year after a painful breakup that was still on my mind (this was 2-3 years ago), I developed a codependency to a girl that was 3-4 years younger than me who lied about her age, her race, her background, as well as being SA'd and abused by her parents. But perhaps most painful was the eventual knowledge that she had "accepted" me for who i was just so she could fabricate rape allegations and accuse me of being a pedophile once I found out her real age. But I still refused to believe that a human being could be this evil.
Up until she sexually assaulted me. No one believes me on this btw, they think a 13 year old is incapable of sexually assaulting a then-16 year old. I can never truly process what she did, it results in confused feelings and a strange sadness that never leaves me. I cant fucking sleep now, i dream of what she did, pure terror dreams that make me wake up depressed and devoid of any energy to the extent that im scared of sleeping. I can't do this anymore, i have an emotional and physical breakdown everytime i see a minor in my vicinity because it reminds me of my experience with her. It hurts so fucking much i am so tired of all this constant pain i just want to fucking die already. might not even post this because i hate how this block of text reads.
My perception of women and children is forever ruined, people mistake my kindness for weakness and just try to psychologically torment me in ways i didnt even think were possible. I hate my life, i hate everything i hate everyone.
