Discussion Tell me about a time when someone changed their mind

[footballseason]

TL;DR: Tell me about a time when you caused or witnessed a radical change in someone's fundamental beliefs or perspective. It can be about any topic. It doesn't have to be related to suicide.

While most people are capable of being influenced, I've very rarely seen anyone's fundamental beliefs changed purely through personal persuasion (as opposed to experience). Eg while I have seen people shift beliefs after experiencing something significant and new, I can't think of a time that I saw someone make such a change after learning new information or hearing an unfamiliar perspective.

That's what I'm most interested in, but tell me about any time you've seen someone change a deeply-seated, foundational view. Did you cause it? Were you the one who changed? How did that change influence things downstream?

 

[SomewhatLoved]

When I was new in my workplace there was this one coworker who was very old-school. Whenever anyone did anything wrong, he would always yell at and berate people for their mistake. Being the new guy and still on probation, I didn't necessarily have much authority to stand up to it, nor did I want to as I didn't want to risk him badmouthing me to my manager and me being terminated at the end of probation because of it. Eventually it happened to me though for signing out my radio/keys the wrong way on the sheet at the start of my shift and him getting upset. He started yelling - like really yelling at me. I would try to start explaining myself and he would just say "I don't want to hear it" and start walking away. I remained calm and just walked up to him and said "you don't have to yell at me". I explained I made a mistake and I was sorry but that yelling doesn't help and we're both adults.

He's still old-school and can be "firm", but I've never seen him yell at anyone the same. I think no one ever stood up to him before me.

 

[footballseason]

Thanks for contributing. It's sad to see people carrying around so much anger and negativity that it affects others, but I have to applaud you for choosing not to react with the same kind of anger. I hope he finds more peace in the future.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Like you wrote, I think I agree that experience is way more likely to actually hit the spot for people (may be unfortunate, because we're then available to all kinds of cognitive biases and can't take advantage of lots of info for development). I'm unfortunately very gullible and have several times been duped into ways of thinking without having to experience much to confirm beliefs or form biases before/during/after. I had a friend who'd say absolutely dumb shit and trick me during childhood and I only now, 15 years later look back and be like "how tf did I just accept when he said hands didn't have any muscles". I don't even think things thorough and reach the wrong conclusion, I just accept instantly. I've heard this might be linked to the autism. Looks like when people open their mouths my default is to assume they're not wrong or lying, to steelman everything they say and to doubt my own preconceptions. When I was younger, fringe/controversial "factual" "science" and ideology was something I thought was interesting. Flat earth not excluded despite studying science :(

This is technically changing my mind (from a normal default to stupid trash), without much experience involved, I guess. I can, however, be extremely hard to convince if someone isn't using--or rather, isn't appearing to use--logic and reason/facts/arguments. So nowadays I try to limit my exposure to things that are "out there"/problematic/controversial since my filter let's through entire boulders.

Also, there's a difference between changing your mind and your behavior. That manager deserves extra props for doing both just from some words. Also, the exact difference between "experience" and not might be blurry.

For me, my foundational changes are more or less slow, gradual, and due to life experience, meditation, and thinking things through a bit for myself.

 

[footballseason]

my filter let's through entire boulders.

That is a hilarious way of putting it. You could probably catch those boulders with your hands, if only they had muscles.

A lack of fear/ skepticism/ distrust/ disinhibition is something that has been widely studied, with various goals in various contexts. I'm sure you've heard of Patient SM (link if you have not), a woman who is neurologically incapable of fear. You've probably also heard of Toxoplasmosis, a condition in which a parasite can effectively disable inhibition in many mammals, potentially including humans. Both are fascinating glimpses of the biology behind fear and the lack thereof. Both links lead to videos featuring Robert Sapolsky, but you can find further information from numerous other individuals and organizations.

 

[noname223]

I was raised in a very conservative household (with domestic violence). With some racism and a lot of consumption of the yellow press. This politicized me and I became a conservative.

After some mental breakdowns I became a socialdemocrat because I realized how bad people at the bottom of society get treated. Was this hypocritical probably. I was raised in a very selfish household with a very selfish mindset. I have to live with this shift.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

That is a hilarious way of putting it. You could probably catch those boulders with your hands, if only they had muscles.

A lack of fear/ skepticism/ distrust/ disinhibition is something that has been widely studied, with various goals in various contexts. I'm sure you've heard of Patient SM (link if you have not), a woman who is neurologically incapable of fear. You've probably also heard of Toxoplasmosis, a condition in which a parasite can effectively disable inhibition in many mammals, potentially including humans. Both are fascinating glimpses of the biology behind fear and the lack thereof. Both links lead to videos featuring Robert Sapolsky, but you can find further information from numerous other individuals and organizations.

Shit, one of my spelling errors got quoted :P