Suppressed anger leading to resentment

[Breadkey]

I always surpress my anger whenever someone does something that bothers me and I forgive them too quickly. But when i do on the rare occasion show anger i feel extreme guilt immediately afterwards. Because there are times when I'm proven wrong and my anger was unjustified. I'm wondering if this situation is one of them.



I keep thinking about this situation I'm really frustrated because of it. It was with someone i used to talk with. I really liked talking to them but they'd ghost me sometimes and although it's fine to go ghost for a few days because life gets busy or sometimes you just dont feel like it but seeing them being very active somewhere else and playing games with others just pissed me off but like I don't have a special reason to be ticked off because yes i loved to talk with them a lot it's not like i talk about anything important. It hurted a bit and i felt very angry at them and kinda blew up at them while confronting them (i didn't insult them or anything or at least i hope i didn't make them feel insulted) but quickly apologized and took back my words and tried to chat normally but you can tell things shifted since then because now i don't know how to talk to them anymore aside from "hi how are you?" And simple responses. Right now I haven't texted them for a while now and they're probably over it already as they have many other friends and an actual life. I know it's not too deep but i can't help but feel anger, resentment, sadness and numbness all at the same time even though it shouldn't be that serious. But they were like my only friend and it's very rare for me to ever have a friend, even if it was just online i really liked having someone who'd actually listened to me without criticism or belittlement. I know it's overreaction but I haven't stopped crying for weeks but it shouldn't matter as much but it does for some reason

 

[timf]

Anger and frustration is usually the result of a conflict between reality and expectations. If we have become used to a certain level of communication with someone and it ended unexpectedly, it would be frustrating if we didn't know why. If we imagine mal-intent, we can even get angry. If we hold on to anger, it can become bitterness and we can poison ourselves.

Most people are uncomfortable or even unable to articulate their reasons for doing something. It is much easier to ghost someone that to lit reasons. In the absence of knowing why, the unexpected can open a door to speculation. Here our imagination can lead us in different directions. The person who reviews their words and action prior to the ghosting might be able to identify something that was said or done that might have contributed to other other person cutting off communication. Sometimes that can be helpful to self-improvement. The person who instead assumes unwarranted hostility as the motive can foster anger.

Another reason for ghosting is if someone is seen as bothersome. For example if you have one person to talk with but they have ten people they are talking with, you might be placing a burden on them that is more than they can handle.