• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

delta2

delta2

Member
Mar 26, 2025
31
Something that's admittedly made it hard for me to ctb is knowing that my mom will commit suicide as well after I do. I know I'll be dead and won't care, but something about her saying "if you do, I do" makes me feel more chained to this earth than ever. It's not fair. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of everyone making my potential death all about them. "We'll be sad", "we'll have to pick up your debt", "I will ctb too", etc. I'm so fucking sick of it. Just let me fucking go
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Breadbfra, Avril, tpboy and 8 others
gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
468
The way people say "if you go, I'll go too" isn't love. It's emotional blackmail. And I know it doesn't come from nowhere, but that doesn't mean it's fair to you. When someone says "your death will destroy me," what they're really saying is "you're responsible for keeping me alive," and that's a weight no one should have to carry, especially not when you're already struggling to stay afloat yourself.

I know what it's like. I don't think my father will hesitate to come after me out of grief more than rage. It turns something deeply personal into something you're expected to manage, like you owe the world a careful death or none at all.

You don't. You deserve your autonomy.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Breadbfra, these_days9, Neutron-Witch and 9 others
S

sadistsister

Member
Jan 19, 2025
5
Something that's admittedly made it hard for me to ctb is knowing that my mom will commit suicide as well after I do. I know I'll be dead and won't care, but something about her saying "if you do, I do" makes me feel more chained to this earth than ever. It's not fair. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of everyone making my potential death all about them. "We'll be sad", "we'll have to pick up your debt", "I will ctb too", etc. I'm so fucking sick of it. Just let me fucking go
For what it's worth, my sister said exactly that. More as a promise, less as a threat. I was unsuccessful and she pretended like she could never even relate. Other people are unreliable at best, self serving as a default.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: bsb601 and deadbidaylight
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,934
I'm not sure she can be trusted. Just saying. She may say it, but that does not mean that she will do as she says.Something to keep in mind.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: bsb601 and deadbidaylight
Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

Without her I'm just a cheap Louis Krages
Feb 3, 2025
494
Something that's admittedly made it hard for me to ctb is knowing that my mom will commit suicide as well after I do. I know I'll be dead and won't care, but something about her saying "if you do, I do" makes me feel more chained to this earth than ever. It's not fair. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of everyone making my potential death all about them. "We'll be sad", "we'll have to pick up your debt", "I will ctb too", etc. I'm so fucking sick of it. Just let me fucking go

Yeah, it's the only thing keeping me here right now. I just want out man, I'm tired, my life is not what I wanted after a lot of effort and everyone keeps thinking about how they'd feel. Yes, I'm sorry they won't have their clown and conversation partner around anymore, I truly am, but it's not worth enduring all this when I have no will to go on. My only hope is that my mother keeps seeing just how fucked up I am and one day stops saying that shit...
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36 and deadbidaylight
Avril

Avril

Unlovable.
Aug 8, 2020
543
People say a lot of things, but if we heavily-suicidal people have a hard time beating survival instincts, I suppose it's harder for normal types of people.
 

Similar threads

failedmind
Replies
4
Views
300
Suicide Discussion
wham311
W
beelzebul
Replies
5
Views
282
Suicide Discussion
StrawberryRed
StrawberryRed
OhMyStars
Replies
6
Views
288
Suicide Discussion
nobodycaresaboutme
nobodycaresaboutme
lv-nii
Replies
6
Views
234
Suicide Discussion
bankai
bankai
prettyclam
Replies
14
Views
310
Suicide Discussion
TBONTB
T