"suicide is a permanent" blah blah blah and other ridiculous, unproductive advice

[SufferingInDenmark]

"suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problem"
aww, doesn't that sound wholesome and cute?
just one problem with it... who ever told you it's a temporary problem?
how do you know if a problem is only temporary to a suicidal person?
you are only pulling that out your ass because you think it sounds good.

i always hear people say stuff like "why don't you try and get some help" and all this kinda shit...
ok what help exactly?
it's like they have zero comprehension just how bad some people's problems can be.

it's like they don't even think about that some problems can be extremely permanent, let's say for example someone without any legs.
"ohh why don't you get some help?"

i'm so sick of people like that.
they always think the person hasn't even tried to fix anything.
believe me motherfucker, i've turned the problem from every possible angle you could possibly imagine, and some problems just don't get fixed in this world.

the worst part is that i hear these statements coming from who you would suspect to be a bit smarter.
like prominent tv hosts...

but i guess nowadays it doesn't take much intelligence to get hired for things like that.
but at least do a tiny bit of research or just THINK before speaking.

 

[AngelTear]

People think toxic positivity will help suicidal people
But instead it's makes them worse

People say they DON'T want people to kill themselves
Yet they DON'T do anything to help their problems or even support them or understand why they're suicidal in the first place
It's like they're just gaslighting you, making you believe a lie so you'll live a little longer because...idk why...

Ridiculous isn't it?

 

[Leyna]

A lot of people are like "just go and get therapy!" as if that fixes everything. Even if you can afford therapy, many of them are just not equipped to help you. Every single time I've gone to therapy I've been let go, being told they couldn't help me and instead try more intensive therapy. I go to intensive therapy, it doesn't help, it eventually ends because insurance won't pay for it forever, and I'm back to going to a therapist and the cycle repeats. What are people like us supposed to do?

 

[Brainbug]

I also hate that they act like the "help" is easily available. Everything has either a super long waitlist or is at max capacity and won't even give you an astimate because they don't even know themselves.
So either you wait forever for something that might not even help or don't get to anything at all :/

 

[woofwag]

A lot of people are like "just go and get therapy!" as if that fixes everything. Even if you can afford therapy, many of them are just not equipped to help you. Every single time I've gone to therapy I've been let go, being told they couldn't help me and instead try more intensive therapy. I go to intensive therapy, it doesn't help, it eventually ends because insurance won't pay for it forever, and I'm back to going to a therapist and the cycle repeats. What are people like us supposed to do?

Ugh I so relate. The dreaded "I think you need a higher level of care." And it's never helped! So ok, now I have medical debt along with being suicidal. Yes, that totally fixed everything, thank you, very cool. I do have a good therapist for the first time ever, but even these days she's said that I've convinced her I can't work, that I seem hopeless and determined to die, and that my suicidal parts are overtaking everything. And yeah! They are!! For good fucking reason!!!!! None of my problems are temporary. People just say this shit without actually listening to the problems of suicidal people. They want a quick, catchy phrase that's supposed to be a catch-all to "save" us, but when nothing else seems to work, suddenly they're all silent. It's pretty pathetic of them imo.

 

[Natanael]

I am one of those who believe that most problems can be solved or overcome. I emphasize "most" because there are others that definitely cannot, and I have seen this.

On the other hand, psychological problems are extremely complex, and although there are concepts and "protocols" to help, as well as therapies, these may not necessarily be effective.

Each person is totally different. Depression and suicide often arise from very specific personal experiences and the logical and emotional reasoning of the other person.

From what I have seen, overcoming or coping with the danger of suicide often requires personal experiences that the person identifies as positive or helpful in their own context.

Most people do not have extensive knowledge of depression or the complexity of human feelings and will often say what they think is right, even if it does not help at all.

Of course, it is annoying and very frustrating when someone does this, but remember that it is the equivalent of getting angry with someone for not understanding an extremely complex issue that is not part of their life or that they do not experience.

 

[itsgone2]

I stopped going to therapy and stopped taking medication. It never helped. When I die there will probably be an explanation that I should have continued seeking help. They can't help everyone

I'm sure we have a mix here though. Some people can be helped. Not all of us though.

For those saying it's temporary and other crap, I'm jealous of them because I'd much rather have zero clue what this life is like.

 

[Leyna]

People usually need to be given time to go into the intricacies that make them who they are for therapists to understand their complexities so they can help them, which is reasonable. People like us aren't given that time. I lasted one session with my last therapist before she deemed herself incapable of helping me.

 

[CerebralVortex]

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!"

Huh, all that sounds like is that cat that goes, "Wi wi wi."

 

[badatparties]

Life is the damn problem.

I also hate that they act like the "help" is easily available. Everything has either a super long waitlist or is at max capacity and won't even give you an astimate because they don't even know themselves.
So either you wait forever for something that might not even help or don't get to anything at all :/

The fact that these services are at max capacity should tell you everything you need to know about the world.

 

[telekon]

My biggest gripe with this one is that if it's a permanent solution, isn't that a good thing? If somebody had a problem, even a temporary one, wouldn't a permanent solution be the most sought after thing? It's so nonsensical.

But I love everything about what you said here. It's true. There is no real "help" out there for suicidal people that can be given to you by another human being. You have to give it to yourself or have some stroke of luck in the universe.

 

[ifihadnever]

I totally get it...when I got told suicide is permanent....I was like.. .yeah well I blooming hope so as that's idea!!! Some
people just don't get it, and just never will. It's so isolating, some people can't seem to handle real raw emotions. I wish I could speak to people, like really speak to people...but I'll just get told...'everything will be ok blah blah blah. I feel your frustrations!

 

[itsgone2]

My psychiatrist kept saying "I really think you're going to pull out of this".
It's well intentioned. I get that. But wow what a load of bs. Why? I'm list 5 major problems. None with an even remotely simple solution. Just not what I wanted to hear.
But hey she's successful and married and I'm neither so who's the dumbass here.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

the smarter you are, the more you realize how fucked we as human beings are living in this broken society. but i can hardly say much about it outside this place, because then that'll hurt normies' feelings and i'll get harassed for it. (-:

 

[dontwakemeup]

I wonder what the solution to a permanent problem could be possibly be These people need to help us figure and sort all of this out! We need solutions for our permanent problems

 

[Forever Sleep]

It relates to the other nauseating one: 'Things will get better/ Things will improve.' Really? By magic? The only way in my experience- that things improve is if we put in vast amounts of effort to improve them and, even then, it's absolutely not guaranteed we will succeed. I think they must have that belief though- 'Things will work out (for the best.') Maybe they say it to themselves too. Maybe that's how they keep going. They actually believe it.

 

[peewee]

i want a permanent solution lmao, therefore i got le ticket, bus will be here soon hehe

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I always say what uf my "temporary" problems don't stop? What if they keep stacking up and overwhelming me??

 

[kuroshimi]

The toxic positivity has never been a good thing. I often heard phrases like "it will get better", but I only see how things getting worse and the future is very uncertain.

 

[Morte]

I've always seen this advice as encouragement rather than the other way around, because a permanent solution is always better than a temporary solution.

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

I don't like: "you are not alone" either, or "help is available"
; and the real condition for "things will get better" is that one will have a small chance to feel better after making enormous effort. I'd think sometimes that the folks who push for 'betterment' were life masochists