Discussion suicide as a "plan B"

[Chuunibyou]

who else doesn't want to die, but has suicide as a plan B exit strategy if something specific happens (or doesn't happen)?

I've said before that I wouldn't actually go through with a suicide despite being suicidal, but I've started thinking that's not actually true. I'll kill myself if I end up in a situation where I'm being forced to move back in with my family. that's my condition. the last time I was forced to move in with them was my only serious attempt, and I would do it again if those circumstances return. it's that bad living with them. I absolutely refuse to let that happen again, and having an "out" just in case brings me comfort.

I hate being disabled and ill and unable to work. I hate relying on others for survival in a country that'd rather I just die. I'm so so tired of it all. but I can manage to survive a little longer as long as I am receiving help from my friends. if I lose that and only have my family, then there would be no point in continuing to prolong my suffering.

I don't know if this post makes sense. my brain feels fried. I really hate myself, I hate thinking about the future, and I hate thinking about all the things my family did to me in the past.

 

[wtg]

who else doesn't want to die, but has suicide as a plan B exit strategy if something specific happens (or doesn't happen)?

Nope, it has been my plan A since I dont even know when anymore

 

[Eudaimonic]

It's my plan A

 

[khairan]

More than a plan B I would say CTB is a late stage of my plan A I've been procrastinating.

I think sooner or later death and I will converge on my own terms.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Idk what I want honestly. I know I don't have a lot of energy. I know I'm scared of dying. doesn't mean I won't go as I've proven in the past I just want to make smart decisions . it more a plan A at this point. a tentative plan A cause I know SI is strong, and there are reasons not to. that's the best I can describe it.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I never ever thought it would even be something to consider. But then things changed, and now it's plan A.

 

[vitbar]

It was my plan A. Medication and therapy have made life livable again, but suicide is still on the cards if things get worse.

 

[stardewwindceres]

Survival instinct is a motherfucking bitch. I didn't think it was gonna get me, until I finally now have the reliable means to do it and something I can't explain at all is holding me back. I know I don't want to be alive. I want to not exist anymore so badly. Things have been so bad for so many years. It has to be some kind of biological self-preservation "lizard brain" thing because it would just be so easy. I mean, humans are just animals when it comes right down to it and survival instinct is just built in, survival of the species and all that. Unfortunately evolution made a huge mistake regarding human brain development. In that our brains developed a lot more than is necessary. An animal shouldn't want to die if their main goal in their life cycle is to maintain that cycle for as long as possible, as in stay alive for as long as possible. It's ridiculous.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Interesting. I was about to post a thread about suicide like this. I was about to ask people if any of them had ever thought of suicide as the ultimate goal. If they're still working now, still talking to people just to save up money for cremation, for the finest coffin out there, and for the prettiest suit they can tailor for themselves when the moment comes. I already have a plan laid out for the next 20 years. I know this sounds fucking stupid. Like, if you want to die, just die already.

But I want to leave the living with something first. I still love them and I want them to gain something upon my loss.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, OP. I hope that it continues being a plan B because you shouldn't die a death that credits your family at all since, if they are this fucking terrible to you, they shouldn't get a mention at all, shouldn't even see you at all.

I don't know what disability you're struggling with but I do hope that for as long as you're around, you still get help not only from your friends but also the entire system like a welfare aid or something like that. I heard that the US helps people with disability like this. I'm not sure how it is in your country. We don't have that in mine too :")

 

[Reywashere]

My plan A was to graduate and study MA abroad but something happened and i have a feeling that I'm going to be stuck in this house forever so it might be time to switch to plan B