
lifelover0037
none
- Feb 12, 2025
- 24
Every day, thousands upon thousands of thoughts that come from unknown sources are forcefully inserted into the mind and swirling around. Every time when others think there are many real "bad people" around me, it makes me even more miserable. Because deep down in my heart, I know that this malice does not exist in an concrete form. But the feeling is so real that it makes one have to believe it. My thoughts are like being implanted by a chip. A living hell.I'm constantly caught up in this chaotic frenzy that makes me lose my grip on reality. I end up waving a knife around, screaming like a lunatic, choking people, or even sending them straight to the ER, only to get a visit from the cops. This invisible malice is always swirling around my mind—people on the street seem to lunge at me, and even lying in bed, I hear sharp, hateful insults. It forces me to do these awful things, and in the end, everyone sees me as the villain, just like I imagined from the start. I've turned this imagined malice into something real. If I don't deal with these thoughts that aren't even mine, I can't escape this. I'm stuck living with this hatred. The thought that every living thing, humans included, would want to torture or kill me just for existing is unbearable, but everyone thinks I'm being ridiculous. It's because my thoughts aren't my own—my brain's like a program that's been forced on me, driving this hatred until I die. idk what to do now,help me please