Today I am struggling with thoughts of safe hate. It's safe to say I have been clean for four years. When I do have thoughts I don't have the right tools to do what I want to do. So that deters me until I'm past my emotions. Today I have the time and energy to do it though. And I know where that leads. And I think I'm at the point where I don't care. I really don't know how today is going to end but we will see if I'm strong enough.
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