• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
Hello everyone, sorry for my bad english, it's my second language.

May 28, 2007, was my first CTB attempt. I was 18 years old.
I'm now twice that age and have survived seven CTB attempts. The third time I was in intensive care, and the fifth time I was in a coma for 30 hours.

I moved to another country 13 years ago to save myself, and I ended up in hell itself. It's one of the most violent countries in the world and one of the most femicide-prone countries.

Today, Monday, May 26, 2025, I'm sure I'll be leaving. If SaSu had existed 18 years ago, it would have been much better for me. Although I studied psychopharmacology, I finally understood that I'm not going to leave because of an overdose.

Today I applied to donate my body to science; the interview appointment is tomorrow.

I'm very sad, no one cares whether I leave or not, but at the same time I feel calm that everything is finally going to end.

PF
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: wubba lubba dub dub, Carrot, rozeske and 12 others
catfriend

catfriend

meow!
Apr 3, 2025
204
heya, i'm sorry to hear that you're at this point; sounds like you've been fighting a long time. i hope you find peace. :)

if i may ask, what is your method?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Carrot, polm, darksouls and 2 others
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
heya, i'm sorry to hear that you're at this point; sounds like you've been fighting a long time. i hope you find peace. :)

if i may ask, what is your method?
Hello, my friend.
I choose NS. I can have all the "medicine". I'm seeing where i can get a good NS, here it's not difficult.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Carrot, polm and catfriend
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,820
I always found the zebra in your profile picture hilarious. You definitely bought me laughter and joy.i will miss you but i envy you as well.be at peace Novaaa.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: polm, darksouls and Novaaa
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
I always laughed at the zebra in your profile picture. You definitely bought me laughter and joy.i will miss you but i envy you as well.be at peace.
I started to cry when you said you will miss me. it's really good to know someone will miss me.

It's my company logo. I've never posted it anywhere, only here. I'm attaching it so you can see it; it's a zebra Cheems.
I didn't know anyone remembered my profile. Thanks for making me visible.
 

Attachments

  • logo pau.gif
    logo pau.gif
    4.9 MB · Views: 0
  • IMG-20241030-WA0025.jpg
    IMG-20241030-WA0025.jpg
    157.9 KB · Views: 0
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: darkmango, EmptyBottle, polm and 3 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,527
I wish you the best in plans.
 
  • Like
Reactions: polm, darksouls and Novaaa
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,820
I started to cry when you said you will miss me. it's really good to know someone will miss me.

It's my company logo. I've never posted it anywhere, only here. I'm attaching it so you can see it; it's a zebra Cheems.
I didn't know anyone remembered my profile. Thanks for making me visible.
Those gifs are hilarious lol.Thanks for sharing.

I don't think the world knows what it's missing.It will be a poorer place with you gone.

That being said.just peace and happiness,that's what i wish for you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: polm, brokencookie and Novaaa
SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,815
Best wishes for finding rest and peace.
 
  • Like
Reactions: polm, brokencookie, darksouls and 2 others
darksouls

darksouls

Wizard
May 10, 2025
692
hope everything goes well for you 🍀
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: polm, Novaaa and bankai
lonesomedefeat

lonesomedefeat

I'll fail and lose this fight
Sep 17, 2024
30
Wish you all the best, hope you find peace <3 And yeah that pfp is awesome lol
 
  • Like
Reactions: polm, brokencookie, Novaaa and 1 other person
SmilingNoMore

SmilingNoMore

Paragon
Nov 25, 2024
954
How have you been, and how is your "process" going? I read your story and I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced, since childhood. I think everyone here cares whether you stay or go, and I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. Sending love your way.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: polm, Novaaa and bankai
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
How have you been, and how is your "process" going? I read your story and I'm sorry for the pain you've experienced, since childhood. I think everyone here cares whether you stay or go, and I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. Sending love your way.
Hello.
I can't donate my body if I die a violent death, so that's bad news. I don't want my family coming from the other side of Latin America to complete the paperwork and repatriate my remains. I'm looking into whether there's a way for someone I trust to retrieve my remains and complete the paperwork.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bankai
SmilingNoMore

SmilingNoMore

Paragon
Nov 25, 2024
954
Hello.
I can't donate my body if I die a violent death, so that's bad news. I don't want my family coming from the other side of Latin America to complete the paperwork and repatriate my remains. I'm looking into whether there's a way for someone I trust to retrieve my remains and complete the paperwork.
Sounds complicated, it's the first time I hear of donating a body for science. At first, I thought you meant donating organs. Is SN your method?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Novaaa and bankai
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
Sounds complicated, it's the first time I hear of donating a body for science. At first, I thought you meant donating organs. Is SN your method?
Yes, SN. I want to donate organs too, but I need to being brain dead and being found like this. I don't know how to do it.
University can't received the body because starts an investigation for the cause of death.
 
SmilingNoMore

SmilingNoMore

Paragon
Nov 25, 2024
954
Yes, SN. I want to donate organs too, but I need to being brain dead and being found like this. I don't know how to do it.
University can't received the body because starts an investigation for the cause of death.
I'm sorry, I don't know how it works. As for me, I'd just make it known in my Will or wherever it is needed legally, that my organs (if usable) are up for donation. I remember seeing this article on here, don't know if it's helpful to you. All the best, hope you find answers.

 
  • Like
Reactions: Novaaa
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
Thanks for the article. I think that was a very isolated case. The probability of becoming brain dead with NS must be low; we'll most likely either live or die.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bankai
EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

Friends with Aera23
Apr 10, 2025
412
I don't think donation would be as viable (as other fatal tricks) because SN changes the body's chemistry before death. Maybe there is some use for a university to study more about the SN process, tho not sure if they'd study it.

No idea why some idiots in the country u are in tend to unalive women, but I'll call those idiots "idiots", and I've prayed for people to be safe from harm from others.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Novaaa
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,820
I don't think donation would be as viable (as other fatal tricks) because SN changes the body's chemistry before death. Maybe there is some use for a university to study more about the SN process, tho not sure if they'd study it.

No idea why some idiots in the country u are in tend to unalive women, but I'll call those idiots "idiots", and I've prayed for people to be safe from harm from others.
I saw some really disturbing TV show about serial killers in some of the Latin countries. I think it was in a Narcos season , I'm not sure.Huge numbers of women go missing and The thing is the police there don't have the resources to track down the killers. Lot of disturbing things like there's no preservation of the corpse. No taking evidence, nothing. The Mortuary just burns everything because they don't have refrigeration.It's ridiculous. Very sad and disturbing.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
  • Informative
Reactions: SmilingNoMore, Novaaa and EmptyBottle
Novaaa

Novaaa

Member
May 4, 2025
37
I saw some really disturbing TV show about serial killers in some of the Latin countries. I think it was in a Narcos season , I'm not sure.Huge numbers of women go missing and The thing is the police there don't have the resources to track down the killers. Lot of disturbing things like there's no preservation of the corpse. No taking evidence, nothing. The Mortuary just burns everything because they don't have refrigeration.It's ridiculous. Very sad and disturbing.
That's a Mexico huge problem. And trust me, they got the resources, not for all they need, but for something more that they do.
I was in two human trafficking network my first year here.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: SmilingNoMore and bankai
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,820
That's a Mexico huge problem. And trust me, they got the resources, not for all they need, but for something more that they do.
I was in two human trafficking network my first year here.
Damn that's so horrible. I hope you are better now. I actually hope you're better now, but I understand.😔

I'm so sorry Novaaa
 

Similar threads

D
Replies
0
Views
104
Recovery
depressedguy68975
D
HumanoidMonster
Replies
2
Views
249
Suicide Discussion
HumanoidMonster
HumanoidMonster
Lost in a Dream
Replies
9
Views
402
Suicide Discussion
Namelesa
Namelesa
O
Replies
1
Views
242
Suicide Discussion
gothbird
gothbird