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LenkaX

LenkaX

Maybe there is a hope!
Aug 14, 2020
366
I think that if you are like me, so that you constantly think about and constantly postpone CTB, than you train your SI to get stronger and stronger. It's like muscles.

The lucky one just do CTB in young age because of various reasons like parents' divorce or when their sexual partner leaves them. They can't stand it and they choose to leave their life instead of fighting.

Now I'm in a situation that I even don't want to CTB, in spite of having miserable """life""" full of loneliness and rejection from women. I hate this life, but after so many years of feeling miserable, I somehow got used to it. I know that I will rot alone until my death and after I die, nobody will care or even notice.

I feel trapped and doomed.
 
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rabbithole

rabbithole

Experienced
Oct 26, 2020
271
I think that if you are like me, so that you constantly think about and constantly postpone CTB, than you train your SI to get stronger and stronger. It's like muscles.

The lucky one just do CTB in young age because of various reasons like parents' divorce or when their sexual partner leaves them. They can't stand it and they choose to leave their life instead of fighting.

Now I'm in a situation that I even don't want to CTB, in spite of having miserable """life""" full of loneliness and rejection from women. I hate this life, but after so many years of feeling miserable, I somehow got used to it. I know that I will rot alone until my death and after I die, nobody will care or even notice.

I feel trapped and doomed.
I feel this way also. I'm getting desensitized to the loneliness, mental anguish and lack of purpose. It makes living seem just ever so slightly better than the process of dying. I want to die soon so people still remember who I was before my injury but I can't seem to get over the si
 
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Reactions: hopeisgone and LenkaX