Discussion Should I talk to the person I love the most before ctb?

[my endless blue]

So, I have this strong will of saying goodbye to the person I love. But, at the same time, i don't want to cause scars on her, make her feel guilty. Should I talk to her? Write a letter? Or should I just give up without saying goodbye to her?

 

[Phosphorous 4]

I try to just let people know I love them without making it sound like I'm planning on killing myself. I have a child who is young. I hope he will remember me telling him I love him as meaningfully I can so he doesn't grow up thinking the wrong things about why I did what I did. I would say I love you one more time.

 

[CogitoMori]

I want to do the same thing, but he hates me for some reason. I don't think he'll really care if he finds out.

 

[my endless blue]

I want to do the same thing, but he hates me for some reason. I don't think he'll really care if he finds out.

Why does he hate you? Wanna share? I'm here if you need to vent

I try to just let people know I love them without making it sound like I'm planning on killing myself. I have a child who is young. I hope he will remember me telling him I love him as meaningfully I can so he doesn't grow up thinking the wrong things about why I did what I did. I would say I love you one more time.

That's harsh. I have this weird thing that I care so much about how everyone will react about me ctb. I don't wanna hurt anyone I love even more, but deep inside, I just want them to know so bad, so so so fucking bad. Maybe that's just me screaming for help or being selfish. I don't know anymore. I don't really know me.

 

[Phosphorous 4]

Why does he hate you? Wanna share? I'm here if you need to vent

That's harsh. I have this weird thing that I care so much about how everyone will react about me ctb. I don't wanna hurt anyone I love even more, but deep inside, I just want them to know so bad, so so so fucking bad. Maybe that's just me screaming for help or being selfish. I don't know anymore. I don't really know me.

All of this is harsh. We're actively planning our deaths. If you've never told anyone ever how you feel you should try at least once. My family doesn't really give a shit, most people don't really give a shit, but there are definitely people who do, who will try to be there for you, and having just one of those people can change stuff for a person.

 

[CogitoMori]

Why does he hate you? Wanna share? I'm here if you need to vent

I don't know why :/ I wish I did so I could fix whatever is wrong with me. I've tried asking him, but he just won't talk to me. He's the only person that ever actually cared about me and I don't know what I did to make him stop.

 

[my endless blue]

I don't know why :/ I wish I did so I could fix whatever is wrong with me. I've tried asking him, but he just won't talk to me. He's the only person that ever actually cared about me and I don't know what I did to make him stop.

Maybe is not even your fault. People change, unfortunately. Like, I did everything I could for some people and still got left behind. So... It's like, sometimes, no matter what we do, we are just not enough for them. But still, you are worth of being loved, being trusted, being hugged, so please, remember that. You did everything you could!

All of this is harsh. We're actively planning our deaths. If you've never told anyone ever how you feel you should try at least once. My family doesn't really give a shit, most people don't really give a shit, but there are definitely people who do, who will try to be there for you, and having just one of those people can change stuff for a person.

Yeah, my family loves me and it tears me apart that i'm going to hurt them like that. I wish i could be different but ctb is my only exit. I have nothing else. At least, it's how I feel.

 

[CogitoMori]

Maybe is not even your fault. People change, unfortunately. Like, I did everything I could for some people and still got left behind. So... It's like, sometimes, no matter what we do, we are just not enough for them. But still, you are worth of being loved, being trusted, being hugged, so please, remember that. You did everything you could!

If it was something as simple as not getting along he would've told me that, and we did get along very well. People only go completely silent and block you when you've done something to make them hate you. I just wish people would tell me what it was.