Shame feels impossible to defeat

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I have my reasons for not wanting to kill myself, none of them have anything to do with my own happiness or desire for the future, but they're still very important to me, so I'm making something of an effort to try to live.

But the shame is just horrific. Has anyone ever beaten this? Truly? I despise myself for reasons that to me seem completely valid. My memories are dominated by guilt and regret. No one truly knows me cause if they did they'd hate me too. How is a person supposed to live with absolutely no pride in who they are?

Is this even winnable? Or am I gonna feel this way for the rest of my life?

 

[Celerity]

How old is the self-hatred? Have you carried this since you were a child?

 

[Kamaainakupua]

A recovery partner explained it to me like this: we feel guilty when we do something bad, but we feel shame when we think we ARE something bad. The path out is going to depend on the path in... as @Celerity pointed out, you have to find the root of the shame to start changing your perception.
I wish you luck, because my answer, for me, is still "I need more time"

(edit more: But you are in the right place to find answers. Many of us can help you since we have a wide variety of causes of shame here)
~higs~