Venting seriously fml

[satella]

Had another fight with my mom yesterday, haven't slept all night. Essentially, I called her out on how different she treats me to my sisters. How she allows the world to revolve around them, allows them to bully me and then tells me to just suck it all up and forgive them (without them even ever apologising mind you!!), to "be the biggest person." And when I say bullying don't think it's just "oh siblings." They have tormented me all my fucking life and are main factors in my desire to cbt.

Things got heated when I called her a hypocrite, and she hit me. I doubled down even as she beat me up, and probably only kicked at her once to push her away. After that, she told me to leave the house. I got up, got dressed and packed a bag only for her to lock me in my room and call the police because I was leaving.

She lied to the police when they arrived that I hit first, then I was forced to stay with a relative after being threatened with a night in jail for an assault I didn't commit. Fyi, I have BRUISES from the incident. I wonder why my mother doesn't? Thanks to UK police.

Ngl, when I was trying to leave the house I was literally ready to go and end it all. Had everything I needed, but had to toss my can of butane in my garden bush when I heard sirens approaching my street. Sucks that it didn't work out, but I am still planning to CBT on the 25th. I'm even more sure about it now Infact.

Sorry if parts of this makes no sense I wrote at like 2am :/

 

[Pale_Rider]

Sounds like a horrible night. Maybe life will improve when you move out on your own.

 

[Dallas]

With your situation i would say move out to be honest, Shes a narcissist and OP you need to get away from that household. Trust me your life will change once you leave that household.

 

[klantedklaw]

I hope you're doing a little bit better now. Fighting with your family is the worst - the people that brought you into this world, that are supposed to protect you - which instead turn against you is wrong on so many levels.

I don't know your situation, but if you can move out then you should try and do that, there are boarding homes that are very cheap, or maybe you can live with a friend or some relatives? I don't want to judge you, but CBTing over a problem with a clear solution (getting away from your family) should be what you focus on in the short term, despite how hard it might feel.

I was in the same situation as you when I was 15. I ended up staying with my family, I learnt to just disassociate around them and just view them as people that give me food and a place to stay, not as my parents. I spoke very little to them and pretended they didn't exist. Maybe if you can severe that emotional attachment you have with them you will feel better, or it can allow you to put up staying with them a little longer until you figure out the next step.

 

[Nightfoot]

Sounds like a very difficult situation. I hope things get better for you.

 

[monetpompo]

Thanks to UK police.

fuck the police. they listen to anybody that makes the call no matter what they say. they don't need to fact check since they'll get their paycheck regardless. i'm sorry that your mom is messed up. mine is an asshole too. i had a rough night and wanted to die but went back inside because bugs kept on biting me and i got pissed off. i wish that we could both move out. living with my parents makes me so suicidal.

 

[satella]

I hope you're doing a little bit better now. Fighting with your family is the worst - the people that brought you into this world, that are supposed to protect you - which instead turn against you is wrong on so many levels.

I don't know your situation, but if you can move out then you should try and do that, there are boarding homes that are very cheap, or maybe you can live with a friend or some relatives? I don't want to judge you, but CBTing over a problem with a clear solution (getting away from your family) should be what you focus on in the short term, despite how hard it might feel.

I was in the same situation as you when I was 15. I ended up staying with my family, I learnt to just disassociate around them and just view them as people that give me food and a place to stay, not as my parents. I spoke very little to them and pretended they didn't exist. Maybe if you can severe that emotional attachment you have with them you will feel better, or it can allow you to put up staying with them a little longer until you figure out the next step.

I don't have any family to go to, that's the issue. I don't have money I live in a lot of poverty and see nothing in my future. I cannot even get a job because my anxiety is so bad I quite literally cannot talk to people outside of my house, I tried. Of course, my family isn't my only issue and stress in my life but they're a huge part of the pile of stress I've been carrying for years that only seems to be growing. I don't know what to do. Thank you so much for your reply though!

Sounds like a horrible night. Maybe life will improve when you move out on your own.

I don't think it will, my family isn't the only issue weighing me down but they are a huge stress. I wish I could eventually move out but I am too poor and it's just hard to find housing where I live

Sounds like a very difficult situation. I hope things get better for you.

Thank you!

fuck the police. they listen to anybody that makes the call no matter what they say. they don't need to fact check since they'll get their paycheck regardless. i'm sorry that your mom is messed up. mine is an asshole too. i had a rough night and wanted to die but went back inside because bugs kept on biting me and i got pissed off. i wish that we could both move out. living with my parents makes me so suicidal.

Same, I wish the best for you though

With your situation i would say move out to be honest, Shes a narcissist and OP you need to get away from that household. Trust me your life will change once you leave that household.

I really wish I could but I have nowhere to go and no money, life sucks

 

[never.more]

oh my god, i am so sorry that you're in a situation like this. i lived in the UK for a few years, and the police truly were useless.

this isn't your fault, and i hope tomorrow is kinder to you.

 

[satella]

oh my god, i am so sorry that you're in a situation like this. i lived in the UK for a few years, and the police truly were useless.

this isn't your fault, and i hope tomorrow is kinder to you.

Thank you!