Been at least 6 years now for me since my last breakdown, but my world has just gone to shit and it's my fault as usual. I'm needing punished, because I feel worthless, no matter what I do it's always the wrong thing. I cheated the devil at premature birth a few years shy of 50yrs ago, he's been trying to reclaim me ever since.
Please disinfect it when you are calmer with like peroxide. An infection will hurt worse than any self harm scar you can give yourself. I feel the need to self harm a lot, its almost a constant urge if there weren't things to distract myself with but for your own sake find less potentially harmful ways of finding a way to feel that pain physically. Cutting can lead to worse cuts that you may need to go to the hospital for and if they recognize a self harm wound you may get sectioned. I've resorted to sometimes giving myself a Charlie horse in the leg instead of punching my face or cutting myself because of the pain and numbness. I hope you feel better.
I'm losing everything, because I'm not able to be 'normal' . I dare to have independence of thought, I articulate what I mean by exactly what I say but peeps only ever hear what they think I say. I don't care about infection, sepsis will kill me, good, bring it.