Help Seeking some advice and clarifications

[Jrileniwa]

Hello everyone.
I have recently joined the forum, and I will admit, mainly because I wanted to talk about the issue without too much trouble. Perhaps this is yet another post for you of someone looking help in finding the right stuff...

However, I am quite determined to CTB. The issue seems that having read things up, by myself and information found here through archives and other people's posts, is that getting the desired result is much harder than anticipated.
Finding SN used to be much easier, but now things are getting controlled and there are risks. Everyone says you shouldn't stab yourself and that even full or partial suspension doesn't seem to work for a few.

To be honest, if there are no other options, I'll try to find ways into a tall building, but even in those there's security or it's tough to get to the top.
I don't have much experience in doing certain things, I've pretty much always followed the rules in things and have never been that adventurous. But for this last moment, before throwing myself into something with less inhibition, I was looking for a place where I could find someone who knew more than me about certain subjects.
I've always been quite nervous when doing new stuff, and things don't always come out right, and I don't really want to fail in this one thing.

I once again apologise if I'm just a nuisance by making this post, or if there are things I shouldn't have done or said here, but I just want to understand.
I think most of all the SN thing, everyone wants to get it, but it seems to not be available.
And if going for the stabbing, then something to help to committing to it.
Or in case of accessing certain buildings to find the perfect spot.
It's just I don't want to fail the attempt, even if it's advice given in private.

Whatever the answer, thank you anyway.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

Hello everyone.
I have recently joined the forum, and I will admit, mainly because I wanted to talk about the issue without too much trouble. Perhaps this is yet another post for you of someone looking help in finding the right stuff...

However, I am quite determined to CTB. The issue seems that having read things up, by myself and information found here through archives and other people's posts, is that getting the desired result is much harder than anticipated.
Finding SN used to be much easier, but now things are getting controlled and there are risks. Everyone says you shouldn't stab yourself and that even full or partial suspension doesn't seem to work for a few.

To be honest, if there are no other options, I'll try to find ways into a tall building, but even in those there's security or it's tough to get to the top.
I don't have much experience in doing certain things, I've pretty much always followed the rules in things and have never been that adventurous. But for this last moment, before throwing myself into something with less inhibition, I was looking for a place where I could find someone who knew more than me about certain subjects.
I've always been quite nervous when doing new stuff, and things don't always come out right, and I don't really want to fail in this one thing.

I once again apologise if I'm just a nuisance by making this post, or if there are things I shouldn't have done or said here, but I just want to understand.
I think most of all the SN thing, everyone wants to get it, but it seems to not be available.
And if going for the stabbing, then something to help to committing to it.
Or in case of accessing certain buildings to find the perfect spot.
It's just I don't want to fail the attempt, even if it's advice given in private.

Whatever the answer, thank you anyway.

I've been discussing with other transgirls getting overdosed together and then stabbing each other in our navels. So even though, as you say, people advise against stabbing oneself, doing it preferably lovingly together in a mutual suicide/murder pact seems to be a feasible option. Stabbing someone else is easier than stabbing oneself and if it's a mutual agreement, neither can chicken out, as it would be unfair to the other one's expectation. Although one option is to lie down on a bed to die stabbed together, holding hands and with our legs intertwined, we have also thought of hanging on pre-prepared nooses after stabbing each other. I know many people think this way of planning CTB is sick, but so what?

 

[Jrileniwa]

I've been discussing with other transgirls getting overdosed together and then stabbing each other in our navels. So even though, as you say, people advise against stabbing oneself, doing it preferably lovingly together in a mutual suicide/murder pact seems to be a feasible option. Stabbing someone else is easier than stabbing oneself and if it's a mutual agreement, neither can chicken out, as it would be unfair to the other one's expectation. Although one option is to lie down on a bed to die stabbed together, holding hands and with our legs intertwined, we have also thought of hanging on pre-prepared nooses after stabbing each other. I know many people think this way of planning CTB is sick, but so what?

Unfortunately I don't have such people I can rely on. I'll be going solo all the way, but even then, if I have to endure some pain I will, I just don't want unexpected things to get in the way, like some sort of spasm that tries to make me stop. I'm fairly confident I can continue, because I genuinely want to commit no matter what, but if there are ways to make it less of a coin toss, that would be awesome.