Only second thought I'm having time to time.....me killing myself, does that make me an even bigger looser than already I am...??? I don't understand should I give my life another try ...??
Well to me as we know it death means like eternal sleep without a dream unaware of anything no longer exists into the void of nothingness. For most of us this is what we believe as they call it the easy way out.
But what if we are wrong what if we are awaken in a spiritual world and we are being punished or tormented in some kind of purgatory where there is no point of return and what we did can not be undone being in that realm eternally.
This is what's holding me back! Because we really never know if it's the end or not.
I'm a religious person and CTB is a sin but when life gets tough I wanted the easy way out.
I guess my advice to you is as long as you can hang in there and the creator is giving you a chance then live.
Only when things are really bad or hopeless then pray if your religious? Pray for guidance and forgiveness then CTB.
But keep in your heart and mind that once you do it it's eternal no point of return it can not be undone once gone that's it there is no reset.
I hope this helps.