I'm sorry for the losses you have experienced, especially this year with your home and those whom you cared for. I certainly didn't mean to trivialize experiences as traumatic as your own. I rather was aiming to encourage others to know that if they, in their heart of hearts, are suffering, then they are indeed suffering. Comparing it to others doesn't change that fact. I can understand why you feel that sense of sadness and envy, and of wanting others to shut up with their problems, giving that they have more than you. I'm sorry the life you exist in isn't what you wanted, and that your own body is working against you. I certainly would not have wished that on you, even though I don't know you, because I wouldn't want to wish suffering on someone who wanted to live but was unable to do so because of what was thrown in their face. I still maintain that everyone's individual experience dictates how they perceive reality, and that informs how they feel they suffer as individuals. I personally don't think it is reasonably possible, nor helpful, to try to compare the suffering of two people. This viewpoint is formed from my personal experience, of course. I am well aware that I experience physical pain very differently from many of those whom I have interacted with in life. What many would consider a minor bump, something to be forgotten in seconds, a minute at most, can prey on my mind for hours, constantly swelling in agony and woe. Objectively, I could suffer the same physical catalyst as someone else, but end up significantly more traumatized than them by virtue of my mind's awful tricks. So I firmly believe that we all have our own reality, and I try not to invalidate the reality of others and their own suffering that has led them to this place. That is all I meant by my previous post. I hope I didn't offend you in any way. I didn't mean to make light of the very real challenges you are facing this year in particular, in any way. I only wanted to help give voice to those whose suffering may be internal and caused by forces not entirely controlled or even understood. I'm sorry that your suffering is so intense. I sincerely did not intend to downplay or diminish its significance. I hope that someway, somehow, you may find a form of peace that is appropriate to you.