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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,266
I'm tired of not mattering to people...

I'm always the one who sends the first message, and people only reply one time out of four.
I'm tired of always being the nice guy who comforts, listens, and helps others, and I get almost nothing in return.
I'm in a lot of unbalanced relationships where people reply with two words out of politeness, while I invest way too much.

At the same time, I have severe social anxiety, so I isolate myself and avoid people a lot... and being borderline, I feel abandoned all the time. I'm fed up with people...

I hate this life
 
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TheOneFreeDude

TheOneFreeDude

Member
Dec 8, 2024
31
I can definitely see where you're coming from and can relate to that somehow. I'm not diagnosed with anything but PDD but I can't help but feel I'm not worthy of love or affection, meaning even when I receive true love and affection I don't feel deserving of it, and everything feels fake, and I end up sabotaging myself and fucking my emotional health more every time. Loneliness/depression -> find someone who actually loves me -> can't help but feel like I'm being a burden -> end up fucking everything up every time -> loneliness/depression.
 
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cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Paragon
Mar 15, 2025
971
I used to be like that. I eventually gave up.
 
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RosebyAnyName

RosebyAnyName

Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
Nov 9, 2023
433
Same here. I started reaching out to people, making an effort to put myself out there, and getting nothing in return. I also gave up on other people.
 
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TwistedNightmares

TwistedNightmares

Broken beyond repair
Nov 1, 2025
250
I used to have a lot of friendships that didn't give me anything in return. I eventually ended all of those friendships and never looked back. I've pretty much given up on making friends with people entirely at this point. I'd rather be lonely than waste my time.
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to kill myself
Oct 25, 2020
2,266
Thanks, hard to live
Death is better
 
Slark

Slark

Experienced
Apr 30, 2023
205
I'm tired of not mattering to people...

I'm always the one who sends the first message, and people only reply one time out of four.
I'm tired of always being the nice guy who comforts, listens, and helps others, and I get almost nothing in return.
I'm in a lot of unbalanced relationships where people reply with two words out of politeness, while I invest way too much.

At the same time, I have severe social anxiety, so I isolate myself and avoid people a lot... and being borderline, I feel abandoned all the time. I'm fed up with people...

I hate this life
I know how much that hurts. I hope you find better friends who value you. You can always call me whenever you want to talk.
 

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