Discussion Relationships Today: Between Illusions and Ghosting

[DoomCry]

There's something that leaves me with a deep sense of sadness: nowadays, everyone says they're looking for a relationship, but as soon as you get a little closer… they ghost you.

They reach out, tell you they want something serious, give you hope… and then vanish without a word. No explanation, no closure.
Some might stick around a bit longer, but only to get sex or attention—and once you're no longer "useful," they disappear.

Everything happens so quickly—just a few chats, a couple of meetups—and then nothing.
There used to be time, effort, and real foundations in relationships. Now it feels like people don't want to invest in real connection anymore.

I wonder if it's just a sign of the times, if we've all become more selfish, more impatient… or maybe just more emotionally empty.
Do serious, stable, meaningful relationships with actual future plans even exist anymore?

Has anyone here ever been ghosted by someone who claimed to be looking for something real?
Let's talk about it.

 

[goodlifesurfaceskim]

I started out a believer in relationship integrity. But eventually grow empty. Mostly I pull away slowly. You listen to people talk about others behind their back and realize your no different. Perspectives are endless in diversity and they all play into a system of morals that often are outside of your own. I never put effort in being in tuned with the systems of society so I always hit a dead end or risk getting labelled as something I'm not. It takes one person to end a relationship and the opportunities are far and wide to begin that downfall. So in short, I think we do it to ourselves. It's like a second job

Edit: This is not objective, im not everyone. I do it to myself most likely

 

[divinemistress36]

People are just looking for their next dopamine high. Most relationships are temporary once that high wears off they are on to the next high

 

[Dejected 55]

My entire life I have been searching for someone to grow and experience and share life with... When I was a boy, I sought girls my own age. When I became an adult, I sought women my own age. No woman I ever asked out in person has ever said yes to me. I got a "maybe" once or twice that amounted to nothing. I got rejected a couple of times by women who then suddenly wanted to share all their problems with and would flirt with me and hint at stuff but didn't seem to ultimately want more than just my time and attention without any meaning attached to it.

The dates I did have were blind dates either by someone fixing me up or dating sites back when those used to have some real people on them. I only ever got one second date. I only ever kissed and held hands with that one second date woman. I had sex with escorts for a while because that was all I could have, but it was empty from the beginning and I knew it immediately, and eventually soured on that experience as being more depressing than just being alone. I have now gone over 22 years without any form of physical contact with a woman and no dates.

I recently met a woman and really started to like her. For the first time in a couple of decades I felt alive. I had a good job and a house and savings and a car and here was this woman into my life when I had long given up on such things. The more I learned about her, spent time around her, the more I realized she was all the kind of person I ever wanted to meet. We got along well, or so I thought, and she seemed to like me. I got the courage to express interest in her, and nothing.

She literally never responded to my inquiries. Treated me practically as if I'd never expressed anything. She didn't change her behavior to me, she just never acknowledged my interest in her. That confused me. I'm sure I didn't handle it well because I really liked her. Things changes, that job went away, and I haven't seen or spoken to her in nearly a year. I have written a few times and texted even recently, but she never responds and I don't know if she does anything but ignore me.

I am completely shattered.

I wanted the whole thing. All my life, I never wanted to be the player and date a bunch of women and have all the empty experiences... I just wanted to get to know the right, single woman and give all the love I have in me to her. But I'm going to take all that to the grave, hopefully sooner rather than later. I don't understand anything about how my life has turned out the way it has or why I've failed at all turns, but I want no more part of it.