Relationship with a borderline disorder trouble

[erqum]

Hello,
I don't know if it's the right forum to talk about this.

But I really feel bad for my ex girlfriend, she has a borderline disorder trouble.
Sometimes I thought she faked her love for me to get some attention, but she tried to kill herself when I leaved her, It was so hard, it's her worst nightmare to get « abandoned »

I feel so guilty, but I feel i can't save her.
Since our breakup, 2month ago, I think about her and her pain everyday.

Did you ever felt that, as the boyfriend/girlfriend or the borderline person ?

 

[Crow_88]

I dated someone with BPD and it was very challenging. I did feel bad when we broke up, but things had just gotten so extreme and I didn't know what to do anymore. My situation wasn't quite as challenging as yours, but I do feel you. Just that overwhelming flood of emotions.

 

[SnowLeopard21]

I was in a 4 year relationship with someone who had the double whammy of schizophrenia and BPD. Every day was a goddamn rollercoaster and I saw no way to get off the ride until she had finally backed me into a corner and we had ended up living with my mother due to a series of financial setbacks (instigated by her). Her physical abuse of me continued there until my own mother witnessed me getting beaten by her and I finally was able to kick her out of my life. This was after years of her isolating me from my friends and family while keeping me stuck in a cycle of blackmail, physical abuse, leaving, and reconciliation.

Don't feel bad for these people at all. They probably feel pain, sure, but absolutely not for you.

 

[FoxSauce]

As a person with BPD im sorry you had to experience that. Ofc if you think that something you needed to get out for your wellbeing.

Is trie that the Rollercoaster can be exhausting to the person with or is a partner with a person with bpd.

Thats one of the reasons I dont want to date anyone my fear is becoming that person (ik very well some people don't mean to)

But fr not all people with bpd behave this way

 

[sleepy_redcar]

I'm not 100% diagnosed with BPD because I basically stopped showing to all my appointment once my therapist and psychiatrist pushed for my diagnosis, but I find myself doing what your ex did, I actually did the same thing a week after the break, and 2 whole years after, still find myself absolutely obsessed and stalking despite my ex telling me to act on it and making fun of it on livestream to dozens about my attempt, I stopped trying to reach because I know desperation drives people away, but man having phone numbers memorized and no self control really doesn't help, I constantly feel the urge to when I finally do it in 2027 to include them as a person in my notes list, even when I know it's wrong and it'll most likely bring them satisfaction