brokenspirited
Great Mage
- May 20, 2025
- 534
I hate everything about me, I've never wanted anything except to stop being aware of myself. But I fear the unknown, for the opposite reasons as most others. I want to be laid to rest, I don't want to move on to something better
Growing up, I was told I want to go to heaven, so I can live forever in gods perfection. I don't. Theres nothing god can do to make me happy, my misery is internal, not external. My trauma is part of me, god can't just remove it, or else he'd be sentencing me to nonexistence (while sending a non-traumatized clone to heaven as my replacement)
Oblivion is what I need, to stop being with myself. Heaven, hell, life, they're all just prisons to me. That's why I haven't died yet, I'm scared I'll be damning myself to an even bigger prison. I would do anything for confirmation that there's no afterlife
Growing up, I was told I want to go to heaven, so I can live forever in gods perfection. I don't. Theres nothing god can do to make me happy, my misery is internal, not external. My trauma is part of me, god can't just remove it, or else he'd be sentencing me to nonexistence (while sending a non-traumatized clone to heaven as my replacement)
Oblivion is what I need, to stop being with myself. Heaven, hell, life, they're all just prisons to me. That's why I haven't died yet, I'm scared I'll be damning myself to an even bigger prison. I would do anything for confirmation that there's no afterlife
