Recovery Journal

[dustymuck]

Hello :)
I want to recover... I don't have a lot of hope though.
Anyway, I'm going to college.
I'll try to share stuff to motivate myself. And to see my progress.

 

[Zardoz]

Good luck and best wishes for this.
I hope it all works out for you.

 

[bluebook]

im curious to see where this goes

 

[dustymuck]

9 September 2025

Hello :')

I haven't posted anything here for quite a while
I moved into my college dorms 3 days ago...
I've been anxious and scared tbh, this is my first time living far from home... Not that i miss home, it wasn't fun listening to my parents argue for every single thing.
It's just... it feels lonely, extrely lonely. I hate being alone. It eats me up from the inside...
I am not an extrovert of some sort, I don't really know how to hang around with people, make friends and stuff... I don't know, I just hate not having someone to talk to.
My roommate seems like a nice guy, but he doesn't talk much with me. I thought he doesn't like me. But I don't know what I may have done for him to hate me.
I did meet people in college, I just haven't gotten close to anyone yet.
My roommate is meeting a friend he made while I'm typing this. It makes me feel a little sad :( but it's fine.
Doing chores myself is a little difficult I guess... If I don't feel like doing it I feel anxious... I set certain tasks in my mind that I have to do no matter what and when the deadline approaches I feel burdened
But I'll do it.
I feel a little better after typing my feelings out... It feels nice :)
Anyway, I hope that I'll be able to make friends...
I'll be living here for a couple of years probably, if I don't end myself that is...
Aight then I don't think I have anything else to pour out of my mind...
If my English seems weird, I'm sorry, I'll do my best to improve.

Okay byeee <3
Adding to this:
I recently started learning web development
I try to finish little by little everyday
And I'm able to do it
So yay to me :)

 

[Zardoz]

Sounds like things are generally positive, which is good.
Could you suggest to your roommate that you both go out socially, Eg go for a pizza or see a movie or something?
Are there any clubs/societies/activities you can sign up to at the college you attend? Is there a web/software development or computer club there you could join?
Remember that the college is full of people just like you, who've moved far from home and don't know anyone either.
It can be a daunting experience, I know from my time going to University. Hang in there, it does get easier...
Good luck to you.