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Sheisgoneee

Sheisgoneee

Member
Dec 19, 2025
23
Why does recovering looks so much scarier than just ending it? Everytime I start getting better it's like a part of me wants to drown me back. I get a second of happy time, and my fuckass thoughts just come back to ruin everything. Then I start awful all over again. I am tired of being in a Limbo.
 
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KenDuh

KenDuh

Student
Nov 1, 2025
109
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I'm afraid of getting better. I think that if I get better, I'll change into someone I'm not, or I'll deny a part of myself. I try to get better just because I don't like feeling this way, but then I try to make myself feel worse, and I go on like this constantly without getting anywhere
 
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camusfan_ig

camusfan_ig

Member
Nov 11, 2025
39
It's scary cuz, speaking from my own personal experience, if you end up getting better, when the thoughts come back they'll feel 10x worse. Atleast when it's consistent, it's comforting. Also like KenDuh said, being this way feels like a part of who you are at this point, and if you try to get better it feels like you're denying a part of yourself
 
Sheisgoneee

Sheisgoneee

Member
Dec 19, 2025
23
It's scary cuz, speaking from my own personal experience, if you end up getting better, when the thoughts come back they'll feel 10x worse. Atleast when it's consistent, it's comforting. Also like KenDuh said, being this way feels like a part of who you are at this point, and if you try to get better it feels like you're denying a part of yourself
Oh wow. It's really scary when you don't know when you're going to get completely better
 
trying ungracefully

trying ungracefully

Student
Jun 11, 2025
154
Recovering has a chance of failure and for a lot that chance wants to be avoided.

It's also unfamiliar, it's hard to feel unfamiliar things because it's so out of the ordinary you don't feel like your "normal" self. Change is a scary thing because you open yourself up to a wide variety of possibilities.
 
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disgusting-life

disgusting-life

smile .
Dec 25, 2025
85
Indeed, you can't even fully commit to recovery because every moment it gets, your brain tells you just how bad it would be 'when' the recovery fails.

It's sorta like climbing higher only for the fall to be harder.

So anytime one tries to recover, we're always, or at least I'm always anticipating the 'inevitable' harder fall, which then makes the recovery more unlikely...
 
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camusfan_ig

camusfan_ig

Member
Nov 11, 2025
39
Oh wow. It's really scary when you don't know when you're going to get completely better
It is, but unfortunately it's a feeling you have to deal with. Wishing you the best
 
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