NSFW Recovering from a gore addiction

[suicidewristrag]

Are you addicted or ever been addicted to watching real life gore and violent videos? I'm personally 1 and a half year free from watching such content as a sort of mental self harm. My addiction got so bad to a point where I was watching gore vids while eating, on bed before sleeping, and in the entirety of my free time. I usually did it when I was feeling like hurting myself (I'm also addicted to physical self-harm) and I mostly watched stuff of people either harming themselves or ctb'ing, but really I watched almost everything except the really depraved famous execution ones.

As I said, I don't watch that kind of stuff voluntarily anymore, however, it did spark me a fascination towards violent art such as paintings, films and video games, I just love some Ludicrous Gibs every now and then. Ridiculous stuff like over the top gory media made me forget a bit all the terrible stuff I've seen so far.

 

[mob]

I think viewing gore is a wide-spread phenomenon, especially regarding suicidal people.
I used to watch a lot of gore in my teens, because I wanted to see what death actually looked like. That's why I only watched content of, just like you, CTB and self-harm. I couldn't handle the rest :')
It started with morbid curiosity for me and then turned into something I was viewing daily. You don't realize how much it can affect you. Needless to say, it did push me to attempt more easily.

But it also did influence my art style a lot - I don't really draw gory stuff, but I'm very into dark art now.

Either way, I'm glad I managed to stop and realize that it was wrong.