recording your ctb

[nightlighter]

I've always had the desire to record myself when i ctb or have someone else do it (id be jumping so its possible passersby record it) but I feel like I'm being somewhat insensitive having this desire, maybe its from all the videos i watch on wpd I want to become one of them but I feel like many would look down on this idea. I'd like to hear other people's thoughts on this.

 

[martyrdom]

Mine is going to be recorded against my will because we have cameras in the house - I don't want it to. Why do you want to do this? Friends and family will be able to see it and re-traumatize themselves over and over.

 

[ilovenewyork]

For SN I think it's valuable to document the attempt so others can get a clear idea of what they're getting in to. Most of the wpd videos end abruptly when the camera falls over etc. We don't know how long they suffered.

I'll likely livestream mine. No friends or family to care

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

I (sometimes) record myself doing methods as a attempt and mostly just testing it, to see how I act when I go unconscious to make sure I don't have to add restraints on me or something, rather than actually having the intent of wanting to die from it, if it was a test, and if I was actually having the intent of wanting to die from the method I will choose, then I will "live stream" it, meaning it is being seen live, instead of someone finding the video footage, not to record it, if in that case.

 

[nightlighter]

Mine is going to be recorded against my will because we have cameras in the house - I don't want it to. Why do you want to do this? Friends and family will be able to see it and re-traumatize themselves over and over.

not sure, i feel guilty thinking like this but I have the desire to leave a mark somehow other than the idea that i ctb

 

[negi-maguro]

I think there is nothing wrong with recording the attempt. However, I'm far way too squeamish to visit wpd or bestgore and people there could be mean to the person sometimes. To me the more mangled you become, the less you should consider filming it, but this might be bias because I want to go out by ingesting SN because that is less traumatic than jumping. I often found myself reflecting to ctb vids that I've watched consensually (like 1 hanging vid and 1 SN vid), both gave me some assurance that things will go smoothly. However other kind of ctb footage (blood) ended up traumatizing me. I think you should consider how your video will impact others. Also, don't forget how people could also capitalize on the video or being mean about it. But then again, maybe if you do have a message for someone or even the world, a video is an effective way to convey it, a lot of examples on this one. Though all these don't really matter if you don't care about anything after ctb. If you want to leave a mark, maybe write something or even a suicide note. Personally I also want to stream my ctb, but I don't know how or where to host it and I keep thinking will all my life be boiled down to just a suicide vid?

 

[nightlighter]

I think there is nothing wrong with recording the attempt. However, I'm far way too squeamish to visit wpd or bestgore and people there could be mean to the person sometimes. To me the more mangled you become, the less you should consider filming it, but this might be bias because I want to go out by ingesting SN because that is less traumatic than jumping. I often found myself reflecting to ctb vids that I've watched consensually (like 1 hanging vid and 1 SN vid), both gave me some assurance that things will go smoothly. However other kind of ctb footage (blood) ended up traumatizing me. I think you should consider how your video will impact others. Also, don't forget how people could also capitalize on the video or being mean about it. But then again, maybe if you do have a message for someone or even the world, a video is an effective way to convey it, a lot of examples on this one. Though all these don't really matter if you don't care about anything after ctb. If you want to leave a mark, maybe write something or even a suicide note. Personally I also want to stream my ctb, but I don't know how or where to host it and I keep thinking will all my life be boiled down to just a suicide vid?

thats the thing, ive seen lots of people boiled down people after they pass just to their death, even when they dont have any video or aftermath of them. for me its like why not at least let the people see what theyre boiling it all down to with graphic footage. to be fair i think my anger towards the world is a reason why i want to stream it or have it uploaded, i want to show to people truly how cruel this world is and what many unfortunately resort to.

 

[Gangrel]

why do you want to be the mocking target from a bunch of edgy losers that just know how to say slurs

 

[Realog11]

why do you want to be the mocking target from a bunch of edgy losers that just know how to say slurs

Yeah my thoughts exactly

 

[negi-maguro]

Yeah I have to agree with the others. I mean, even though you want to show a message with a video, that will only probably work with people with empathy. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't, especially the ones that visit gore sites/forums. Not only that, there are a lot of ctb vids circulating in the net, so much that adding another one could just make it irrelevant from the start. But I get you, I think it's pretty cool to leave our death documented, I'm just really conflicted about how it will be perceived.

 

[nightlighter]

why do you want to be the mocking target from a bunch of edgy losers that just know how to say slurs

my thought process is that i'll be dead so yk i wont really be there to see the response or care abt it lol

 

[akira.kewl]

For SN I think it's valuable to document the attempt so others can get a clear idea of what they're getting in to. Most of the wpd videos end abruptly when the camera falls over etc. We don't know how long they suffered.

I'll likely livestream mine. No friends or family to care

where will you live stream it? I want to do the same but I fear that nobody will see it before it gets banned.

 

[ilovenewyork]

You stream it to one person and they record it and upload to watchpeopledie.tv