Help Reasons to stop cutting

[KnightOfSwords]

I don't care if it leaves scars or if there's a risk of infection. I also don't give a shit about what others think. So I kinda don't see why cutting is bad for me. Folks around the internet try to stay clean and share their progress but me personally I can't come up with a reason to stop doing it. Arguments about it being a faulty coping mechanism and creating wrong connections in my brain seem too far and detached from what is here and how. What am I missing? Maybe someone can share reasons to quit.

 

[Cloud Busting]

This is what you're feeling now, which may shift over time. It may not. For me, I used to love self harm. I felt much like you. I didn't care about the scars nor the damage or what anyone thought. I glorified it, reveled in it, and was honestly proud of it.

Now I actually feel shame. It's the only thing I've ever done in life that I regret. Regrets are a waste of time so I'm working on sorting all that out atm. Will this happen to you? I can't say. We don't know each other, and everyone is different.

I can share my story of why I quit, but if you're not interested get it. You've probably heard a million of them and they all blur together and sound the same after awhile. Idk if I have anything new to offer.

Clearly cutting is working for you right now. Why do you do it? What do you get out of it? Are there any drawbacks to it or is it wholly positive for you? Do the pros outweigh the cons or vice versa?

What do you mean by too far detached from the hear and now?

What would be valid reasons to quit from your pov?

 

[KnightOfSwords]

You've probably heard a million of them and they all blur together and sound the same after awhile

Stories def blend together but I'd like to hear a story from you, what if it's the one I need to hear to sort things out

Are there any drawbacks to it or is it wholly positive for you?

I feel like cutting is wrong. We aren't supposed to do it because of pain, it's not logical. But this doesn't convince me enough

Now I actually feel shame

Why is this so? Cutting worked for you at some point of your life and you had your reasons, as well as reasons to quit

 

[bl33ding_heart]

It's not just about scars and infections. Your skin is an organ, and continually afflicting harm on to it is very damaging and will eventually cause chronic problems. Like nerve damage, and chronic pain as a result of that. I understand having a lack of care for the future during the present especially while you are suffering so much. You can never really know how you'll feel once time has passed, it's hard to tell what your mind will look like. But caring about the future now is what makes a difference and makes things better for you. I hope you are able to find healthier coping mechanisms that work well for you.

 

[KnightOfSwords]

It's not just about scars and infections. Your skin is an organ, and continually afflicting harm on to it is very damaging and will eventually cause chronic problems. Like nerve damage, and chronic pain as a result of that. I understand having a lack of care for the future during the present especially while you are suffering so much. You can never really know how you'll feel once time has passed, it's hard to tell what your mind will look like. But caring about the future now is what makes a difference and makes things better for you. I hope you are able to find healthier coping mechanisms that work well for you.

Thanks. I don't know how to put it but it really helps reminding myself that blood is not just pretty liquid but my tissue, and skin is my organ too, not of less importance then the ones that are inside. Thinking of myself as of weird meat mechanism that needs maintenance and gentle handling to function makes self care easier.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Stories def blend together but I'd like to hear a story from you, what if it's the one I need to hear to sort things out

I was 13 when I started. I did it while listening to Fall Out Boy which is fucking hilarious. All hail 2007. What a cliche I can't.

What it did for me is I had emotions I couldn't safely express. I was an outcast, a misfit, I was bullied. I came from a broken family with secrets behind closed doors. So I didn't feel I could process or express or even feel these feelings. I didn't want to feel them all alone, but I was alone, so I could cut and not have to feel that shit.

A prime cutting song for me lol:



At the time this song was like three cheers for sweet revenge, now it's like an ode to youth. Ah youth. What a mess.

"If I cut, I won't look like this, if I cut, if I cut I won't feel like this shit"

Yeah this song basically described the urgency, the immediacy, the reckless impulse of my habit and just being broken and feeling nihilistic and doomed in a teenage wasteland

One day, when I was 18, I think, I was somehow able to cut to fat on my thigh with a pencil sharpener blade. I wasn't expecting that.

I made a tourniquet, and it bled for 2-4 hours. I didn't want to deal with getting treated like shit and then evaluated at the ER. Usually, when mom found out I cut myself, we'd get into a huge fight.

I asked her for butterfly bandages. To my surprise, she calmly applied first aid and said, "woah, you did a doozy." I'll never forget the torment in her eyes. It's the moment I realized she loved me, and it hurt her to watch me self destruct, and she only reacted the way she did because she felt helpless.

That was the first time in five years that I actually wanted to quit.

I struggled with the habit for many years afterwards but no longer was it a source of pride. It was embarrassing, shameful. Eventually I did it less and less, and when I did it was a one off (land the older I got it was mostly burning, some cutting.) I mostly replaced it with sex, drugs, alcohol, relationships, that kinda shit.

I like never really get the urge anymore. Sometimes if I'm really drunk I'll do it, did it with an exacto when drunk recently and I was so embarrassed and felt so stupid lol

Basically my coping skills are really shit and I still struggle with self gratification/impulse control but it's the one behavior I just feel so much shame and guilt over it just…. It doesn't really work anymore. There's no pleasure in it. Essentially I just found better vices lol

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

I don't cut, but the question I have is, why do you cut?

 

[tiredofthis12]

the more you cut, the more your body has to heal. If you do drugs or drink alcohol, you are basically limiting your immune response on fighting off the toxins from the substances but also from healing those cuts or fighting infections. Over time your health can really deteriorate and if you ever get sick, it makes it that much harder for to heal. If it got bad enough, you could develop an autoimmune disease of sorts.

 

[hurts2b]

If you actually want a reason to stop then I'll give you one: Mess. It's such a pain in the ass to clean up blood. Cost is a major reason too. Supplies can be expensive.

If you're on the fence, have a more detailed answer:

SH is a deeply impractical thing all around.

It's a case of deminishing returns. It's less effective the more you do it, at least in my experience. There's an aspect of mental fixation that can fester, and negate any benefits.
You start thinking about it so much it eats up your time and even gets in the way of your obligations.

While in the present you might not care about infections or scars, if you make it to the future you might end up seeing it differently. Not saying you will, just that you could in theory. It's simply a risk you're taking on.

SH always comes with the possibility of going too far, doing too much, causing permanent nerve damage and the like. You can find some pretty gnarly stories about it if you search hard enough.

Up to you what to do with this information, of course. Only you can know if the pros outweigh the cons for you personally.

 

[KnightOfSwords]

I was 13 when I started. I did it while listening to Fall Out Boy which is fucking hilarious. All hail 2007. What a cliche I can't.

What it did for me is I had emotions I couldn't safely express. I was an outcast, a misfit, I was bullied. I came from a broken family with secrets behind closed doors. So I didn't feel I could process or express or even feel these feelings. I didn't want to feel them all alone, but I was alone, so I could cut and not have to feel that shit.

A prime cutting song for me lol:



At the time this song was like three cheers for sweet revenge, now it's like an ode to youth. Ah youth. What a mess.

"If I cut, I won't look like this, if I cut, if I cut I won't feel like this shit"

Yeah this song basically described the urgency, the immediacy, the reckless impulse of my habit and just being broken and feeling nihilistic and doomed in a teenage wasteland

One day, when I was 18, I think, I was somehow able to cut to fat on my thigh with a pencil sharpener blade. I wasn't expecting that.

I made a tourniquet, and it bled for 2-4 hours. I didn't want to deal with getting treated like shit and then evaluated at the ER. Usually, when mom found out I cut myself, we'd get into a huge fight.

I asked her for butterfly bandages. To my surprise, she calmly applied first aid and said, "woah, you did a doozy." I'll never forget the torment in her eyes. It's the moment I realized she loved me, and it hurt her to watch me self destruct, and she only reacted the way she did because she felt helpless.

That was the first time in five years that I actually wanted to quit.

I struggled with the habit for many years afterwards but no longer was it a source of pride. It was embarrassing, shameful. Eventually I did it less and less, and when I did it was a one off (land the older I got it was mostly burning, some cutting.) I mostly replaced it with sex, drugs, alcohol, relationships, that kinda shit.

I like never really get the urge anymore. Sometimes if I'm really drunk I'll do it, did it with an exacto when drunk recently and I was so embarrassed and felt so stupid lol

Basically my coping skills are really shit and I still struggle with self gratification/impulse control but it's the one behavior I just feel so much shame and guilt over it just…. It doesn't really work anymore. There's no pleasure in it. Essentially I just found better vices lol

Woah, thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I don't know how to reply properly but I'll try to remember you next time I have the urge to cut

If you actually want a reason to stop then I'll give you one: Mess. It's such a pain in the ass to clean up blood. Cost is a major reason too. Supplies can be expensive.

If you're on the fence, have a more detailed answer:

SH is a deeply impractical thing all around.

It's a case of deminishing returns. It's less effective the more you do it, at least in my experience. There's an aspect of mental fixation that can fester, and negate any benefits.
You start thinking about it so much it eats up your time and even gets in the way of your obligations.

While in the present you might not care about infections or scars, if you make it to the future you might end up seeing it differently. Not saying you will, just that you could in theory. It's simply a risk you're taking on.

SH always comes with the possibility of going too far, doing too much, causing permanent nerve damage and the like. You can find some pretty gnarly stories about it if you search hard enough.

Up to you what to do with this information, of course. Only you can know if the pros outweigh the cons for you personally.

Well, you're kinda right, it definitely stops feeling the same after some time, I didn't think it would require more and more. I thought I would be fine as long as I don't cut too deep

 

[ladylazarus4]

I haven't seriously self harmed in a while. My reasons were sort of specific so may not apply. the whole process of it got dull and exhausting. I would spend an hour in my empty bathtub working on a cut and making it "perfect" or "good enough" and then would have to clean up the blood, wait for it to slow down bleeding, and hastily apply aftercare so I wouldn't drip blood anywhere. And THEN the cut would take anywhere from 3-10 weeks to heal, all the while oozing large quantities of serous fluid (like, filled up maxi pads in less than 24 hours).
Also, the compulsion to do more and more severe and twisted things was just exhausting and at this point I'm kind of scared to cut. Embarrassing to admit but I'm quite scared of pain, despite how it might seem if you saw some of the cuts I've made.
Plus, I've basically run out of room on my go-to spots to do any more sizable cuts.
Out of all of these, the aftercare was probably the biggest factor. It's so annoying and if I used medical tape it would irritate my skin. Tegaderm works much better but can be hard to use on bigger wounds or with a bulkier dressing.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Woah, thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I don't know how to reply properly but I'll try to remember you next time I have the urge to cut

There is no standard etiquette on how to properly reply. I voluntary chose to put time into telling my story for free. You owe me nothing. You're good. If it's any consolation prize, exchanging these words for you has essentially been a therapeutic exercise for me.

I am glad it is useful to you. Hopefully it will be useful to others as well.

I feel like cutting is wrong. We aren't supposed to do it because of pain, it's not logical. But this doesn't convince me enough

Interesting. I see it differently.

When I cut myself, I feel so much better. All the little things that might have been annoying to me suddenly seem so trivial because I'm concentrating on the pain. I'm not a person who can scream and shout so this is my only outlet. It's all done very logically.

It's been shown the brain interprets psychological pain as the same stimuli as physical pain. Tylonel has been indicated as potentially alleviating heartache.

Logically, the endorphins that are released to relieve physical pain would provide the same ease for psychological pain. People who have engaged in self harm are utilizing this technique whether they realize it or not. Pain can be pleasurable, it's not merely suffering. Dangers aren't inherently dangerous.

The problem is, after the effects wear off, the emotional pain comes back tenfold. It works in the short term, but not in the long run.

Why is this so? Cutting worked for you at some point of your life and you had your reasons, as well as reasons to quit

Thank you for asking me this. I've never thought about this before. I'm not ashamed of my past substance abuse, so why cutting?

Now that I think about it, I had people in my orbit who understood my drug use saved my life. No one understood this was the same for cutting, so I was shamed and shunned and punished rather than supported. I suppose my inner adolescence internalized the message.

Do you want to quit for yourself or for moral reasons?

 

[KnightOfSwords]

Do you want to quit for yourself or for moral reasons?

I suppose I want to be a little more normal, like, closer to being a normal average person. Also I've been wondering if getting a car would improve my mental state but to get drivers license I need to go through psychiatrical evaluation - I need to hide scars somehow or at least ensure them they are old mistakes from when I was a middle schooler.
Of course, I will not care a shit about cars and being normal when my condition will worsen but sometimes it's nice to dream about better life.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I suppose I want to be a little more normal, like, closer to being a normal average person. Also I've been wondering if getting a car would improve my mental state but to get drivers license I need to go through psychiatrical evaluation - I need to hide scars somehow or at least ensure them they are old mistakes from when I was a middle schooler.
Of course, I will not care a shit about cars and being normal when my condition will worsen but sometimes it's nice to dream about better life.

I'm really struggling to understand your reasons for cutting, as well as your motivations for wanting to quit. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it to communicate more effectively. Bear with me.

"Normal" is relative and broad, it could mean so many different things depending on how one defines it. In this context, I'm assuming you mean normal as in the ability to psychologically adapt, cope and function in life in a healthy way right? Please clarify.

Why do you need a psychiatrist's clearance to obtain a drivers license? Why would active cutting limit your legal ability to obtain a license? I've never heard of this before. May I ask where you're from?

What makes you think your condition will worsen, and what's the point in having hoping for a better life if it's impossible? Are you sure your condition can't improve?

More context is needed tbh aha

 

[Aphid]

I'm unsure if it's helpful but the personal reason i self harm is a punishment complex, guilt for my past actions and my inability to forgive myself fuel physical punishment and torture on myself.

It's not a good habit but it works for me, it works,

 

[KnightOfSwords]

I'm really struggling to understand your reasons for cutting, as well as your motivations for wanting to quit. I'm trying to get to the bottom of it to communicate more effectively. Bear with me.

"Normal" is relative and broad, it could mean so many different things depending on how one defines it. In this context, I'm assuming you mean normal as in the ability to psychologically adapt, cope and function in life in a healthy way right? Please clarify.

Why do you need a psychiatrist's clearance to obtain a drivers license? Why would active cutting limit your legal ability to obtain a license? I've never heard of this before. May I ask where you're from?

What makes you think your condition will worsen, and what's the point in having hoping for a better life if it's impossible? Are you sure your condition can't improve?

More context is needed tbh aha

My reasons for cutting: my own thoughts are eating me alive. I don't want to think, I don't want to remember. I discovered that seeing my blood calms me, moreover, it hurts long after I did it, and this pain replaces some of my unpleasant and unbearable thoughts.
But gradually I started doing more reckless and long cuts - I suppose the initial effect cutting had on me is fading and now I need to see more blood, do more violent cuts.
By "normal" I guess I mean I want to appear as a stable person, with healthy emotion regulation, without cruel urges or morbid thoughts. It's hard to pretend to be one when you have fresh cuts all over your arms.
I'm from Russia. When getting drivers license here you need some papers from psychiatrist. They check your arms for marks from needles (to see of you're a drug user) and sh. For instance, you cannot drive a car if you have bd or visited mental hospital. Like, what if you went into psychosis while on the road or decided to kill yourself by crashing into another car.
I hope I managed to deliver my thoughts, communication is kinda hard

I'm unsure if it's helpful but the personal reason i self harm is a punishment complex, guilt for my past actions and my inability to forgive myself fuel physical punishment and torture on myself.

It's not a good habit but it works for me, it works,

Oh man, I wish I could punish myself enough to redeem my past actions with blood but I know this isn't happening.

 

[hurts2b]

Well, you're kinda right, it definitely stops feeling the same after some time, I didn't think it would require more and more. I thought I would be fine as long as I don't cut too deep

I thought it would be fine too, but I found that over time I would change the goal posts. I *had* to go deeper or else I'd get frustrated and feel like I was wasting my time. Since, like you said, it stops being the same after a while.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I was discussing this very thing with my therapist.

I have self harmed, (biting, cutting and bruising, in response to feeling overwhelmed emotionally, the act of hurting myself acts like a pressure valve and lets me reset.

I still get the urge (and think about SH) from time to time but, now, I do not feel ashamed or feel guilty about those feelings and thoughts. It is how I dealt with overwhelming feelings. I don't act on those urges any more, but I do acknowledge the thought like old friends that used to help me but I no longer need to lean on.

I think what I am trying to say is worrying about how I used to deal with situations is not helping me now, so I am just accepting that was how I was.

 

[underairpressure]

While I have similar feelings, and also don't care much what people think, having significant scarring DOES impact how people treat you, and can lead to things like housing or job discrimination. I've heard plenty of times of people being barred from certain professions, especially those involving children, if they have SH scars. Landlords can choose other potential tenants over you, too, because having scars means you're "unstable", ie a "problem tenant". Things like that......

There's also more general things, like people harassing you at the pool for "making them uncomfortable", or grabbing you at the bar to give you a lecture on "loving yourself", etc.

I wish it didn't impact things, I wish people wouldn't make assumptions and be weird assholes, but, that's not the reality. Having SH scars CAN make life harder. That hasn't stopped me, personally, but it's something to consider.

 

[Cloud Busting]

My reasons for cutting: my own thoughts are eating me alive. I don't want to think, I don't want to remember. I discovered that seeing my blood calms me, moreover, it hurts long after I did it, and this pain replaces some of my unpleasant and unbearable thoughts.
But gradually I started doing more reckless and long cuts - I suppose the initial effect cutting had on me is fading and now I need to see more blood, do more violent cuts.
By "normal" I guess I mean I want to appear as a stable person, with healthy emotion regulation, without cruel urges or morbid thoughts. It's hard to pretend to be one when you have fresh cuts all over your arms.
I'm from Russia. When getting drivers license here you need some papers from psychiatrist. They check your arms for marks from needles (to see of you're a drug user) and sh. For instance, you cannot drive a car if you have bd or visited mental hospital. Like, what if you went into psychosis while on the road or decided to kill yourself by crashing into another car.
I hope I managed to deliver my thoughts, communication is kinda hard

Oh man, I wish I could punish myself enough to redeem my past actions with blood but I know this isn't happening.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences in such a well thought and detailed manner. You communicated very clearly. I'm sorry I haven't responded. My life has been crazy.

This helped put things into perspective for me! I liked to cut for the same reason. Replacing emotional pain with physical pain. I think I explained rather well how that only worsens things over time, in that the feelings you're avoiding only grow stronger. Running away from the problem doesn't solve it.

That's absolutely crazy. I knew mental health was stigmatized in Russia, but not to that degree. No wonder you're so catious and fearful. Like, would I be barred from receiving a drivers license due to permanent scars I have? If an addict gets clean or if the suicidal person in the mental hospital recovers, or if a bp person gets the condition under control, can psychiatrists clear them in Russia?

In US uncontrolled epilepsy can bar you from driving but this is just, wow. I had no idea. It's so interesting how mental health laws, rights, and care vary culturally.

I wish I had advice or something more to offer. Sounds like a tough situation. I wish you the best.

 

[PanaxMan]

I don't care if it leaves scars or if there's a risk of infection. I also don't give a shit about what others think. So I kinda don't see why cutting is bad for me. Folks around the internet try to stay clean and share their progress but me personally I can't come up with a reason to stop doing it. Arguments about it being a faulty coping mechanism and creating wrong connections in my brain seem too far and detached from what is here and how. What am I missing? Maybe someone can share reasons to quit.

I have a feeling this'll age badly not even drugs can even do this much damage to a body

 

[KnightOfSwords]

While I have similar feelings, and also don't care much what people think, having significant scarring DOES impact how people treat you, and can lead to things like housing or job discrimination. I've heard plenty of times of people being barred from certain professions, especially those involving children, if they have SH scars. Landlords can choose other potential tenants over you, too, because having scars means you're "unstable", ie a "problem tenant". Things like that......

There's also more general things, like people harassing you at the pool for "making them uncomfortable", or grabbing you at the bar to give you a lecture on "loving yourself", etc.

I wish it didn't impact things, I wish people wouldn't make assumptions and be weird assholes, but, that's not the reality. Having SH scars CAN make life harder. That hasn't stopped me, personally, but it's something to consider.

I haven't encountered this myself yet but I see your point, I haven't thought about these potential obstacles

can psychiatrists clear them in Russia?

Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. Yeah, you can ask to assemble a board of doctors to decide whether you're healed or in remission enough to trust you drivers license, however, it depends heavily on what kind of specialists are deciding your fate. They might not just want to give you permission, since there are no written rules on how to decide if person is "sane" enough to drive.

Btw I'm six weeks clean of cutting now - not much but it's a start

 

[Cloud Busting]

I haven't encountered this myself yet but I see your point, I haven't thought about these potential obstacles

Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. Yeah, you can ask to assemble a board of doctors to decide whether you're healed or in remission enough to trust you drivers license, however, it depends heavily on what kind of specialists are deciding your fate. They might not just want to give you permission, since there are no written rules on how to decide if perso is "sane" enough to drive.

Btw I'm six weeks clean of cutting now - not much but it's a start

Why wouldn't I be supportive? I get the impression you struggle to open up. You took a risk. You did great! Even if you hadn't I'd still be helping you out cuz if you're gonna take such a leap imma make sure it pays off

I got ur back brotha

Do you have the right to chose the specialists or does the government assign them?

If you hired a therapist would that be on your record? Are there any privacy protections for medical records in Russia?

Also give yourself the credit you deserve. A month 1/2 is a great start. Remember to view relapses as learning lessons rather than failures or the end

 

[KnightOfSwords]

Do you have the right to chose the specialists or does the government assign them?

I haven't been to the government-based mental hospitals but I recon that varies. For instance, in my hometown there's only one mental health facility - not much variety of specialists.
In big cities you're free to make an appointment with almost any specialist you want, unless you're arrived via EMS after an attempt or something.

If you hired a therapist would that be on your record?

It wouldn't. They don't have access to the databases, that's a huge advantage and relief.

Are there any privacy protections for medical records in Russia?

Yeah, I think so. There are laws about medical confidentiality.
In general, it's not so bad. Even relatively small towns have some independent medical centres and specialists to choose from and avoid future troubles with databases.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I don't care if it leaves scars or if there's a risk of infection. I also don't give a shit about what others think. So I kinda don't see why cutting is bad for me. Folks around the internet try to stay clean and share their progress but me personally I can't come up with a reason to stop doing it. Arguments about it being a faulty coping mechanism and creating wrong connections in my brain seem too far and detached from what is here and how. What am I missing? Maybe someone can share reasons to quit.

I hear you, and it makes complete sense why clinical lectures feel totally disconnected from your reality right now. You don't have to care about the scars or what anyone else thinks, but I care about how exhausting it is for you to carry this heavy cycle. The hardest truth about cutting is that it eventually stops working, demanding more and more from you just to get that same brief moment of relief. I'm telling you this because you deserve a mind that feels like a safe, peaceful place to live, and I really want that for you.

 

[returntothestars]

I hear you, and it makes complete sense why clinical lectures feel totally disconnected from your reality right now. You don't have to care about the scars or what anyone else thinks, but I care about how exhausting it is for you to carry this heavy cycle. The hardest truth about cutting is that it eventually stops working, demanding more and more from you just to get that same brief moment of relief. I'm telling you this because you deserve a mind that feels like a safe, peaceful place to live, and I really want that for you.

"The truth is that it eventually stops working..."

As someone who has been toeing the line of relapsing these past few weeks, I really needed to see this. Thanks.

 

[KnightOfSwords]

I hear you, and it makes complete sense why clinical lectures feel totally disconnected from your reality right now. You don't have to care about the scars or what anyone else thinks, but I care about how exhausting it is for you to carry this heavy cycle. The hardest truth about cutting is that it eventually stops working, demanding more and more from you just to get that same brief moment of relief. I'm telling you this because you deserve a mind that feels like a safe, peaceful place to live, and I really want that for you.

Hey, good to see you again, bringing me some hope, as always.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Hey, good to see you again, bringing me some hope, as always.

You're gonna laugh, but I must tell you this. A month ago i had a really really bad day. Nothing could have cheered me up that day, then i saw a post from you and when I saw how funny the dog in your avatar is, I laughed quite a bit, and I felt much better during the remainder of the day. So funny , yet so wholesome.

 

[Cloud Busting]

@KnightOfSwords

Thanks for informing my uncultured American ass lol. I learned a lot. Glad it's not as dystopian as I feared. It makes me curious what your gun laws are like.

I think your reasons for wanting to quit self harming are solid. Recovery is messy, non linear, non sequential, out of order

In other words

It may take awhile like multiple attempts

Good luck I'd love to see you get your license the freedom helped me for sure