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Lack of acute motivation.
Utter exhaustion.
Same. Also the fact I didn't get to say goodbye to a few people or get around to writing a note by my initial time.
15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,551
Too many birthdays, special occasions etc that I don't want to ruin for everyone by ctb close to them, not having enough time alone to carry out successfully, and a tiny bit of hope things will get betterMaking plans and getting the necessary supplies.
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
If I'm rational and ok, hurting people and potentially damaging their lives forever.
If I'm impulsive, getting saved. Just need time with my tank and I'm gone
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
Would you actually say goodbye in person? And explain things like your reasons?Last edited:
Othermind
Specialist
- Dec 26, 2018
- 302
My mental health hasn't deteriorated enough.
It's getting there though, yesterday I spent the whole day chugging benzos and cutting myself. Totally not going to last another year.
Plus, obviously, it would leave my family devastated and I have a good number of friends who would feel the blow, too. Basically my suicide would hurt a lot of good people that I deeply care for and that's not something you can just hand wave away.
Xerxes
Invisible
- Nov 8, 2018
- 936
I'm up and down with urges. Closest I ever came was getting the materials and then driving out to the site of my death, only to have it rain on me. Lighting up charcoal in the rain is futile.
Xaphous
hikikomori
- Nov 11, 2018
- 550
No need to rush what will be your very last actions. I may choose to live but I will be ordering everything for the SN method regardless.
I have 1 person I want to say goodbye to in person but I wouldn't tell them the reasons. But I want to like meet them again and say goodbye as if we're gonna meet again but only I'll know that it will be the final goodbye.
This is partly why I held off during the holidays. I didn't want the holidays to be associated with my suicide.
My mental health hasn't been pushing me to ctb as much as it had. It's started to push again and, with the the holidays over, there's no reason not to ctb.
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
And you'd explain those in your note(s) instead?
That sounds like something I would do. I'd seek one last meeting and then write something like, "I'm glad I got to see you a few weeks ago...."
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
If you can hold off, is there any overriding reason to CTB right now either? Worth considering since it's final
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,823
Fear of plan not working and and my life not ending when i do it i need die
^This. When I do it (again), I need to die. This can't be another failure.
This is my reason too. I wish euthanasia was legal in the US for psych disorders.Similar threads
Suicide Discussionreticulator
