Venting ready to go…

[untameduniquer]

i have never felt so depressed and so ready to ctb this much in my life, i have given up on life and i can't wait until i get the courage to ctb which is coming very soon, i hate opening my eyes in the morning, i absolutely hate waking up, everyday i wish i could just die in my sleep, and it's worse because i ruined my own life, i had so much potential and threw it away, i can't live with myself much longer.. if i wasn't so afraid of what's after death, i would've been ctb. i have a rope hanging in my closet for about two months now, it's just waiting for me but my SI instincts are convincing me to be scared (if that makes sense) soon i'll overcome it and finally leave this cruel nasty earth and be at peace.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel the same. SI is beatable when you've struggle too much.
Good luck to us.

 

[untameduniquer]

I feel the same. SI is beatable when you've struggle too much.
Good luck to us.

yes i definitely agree, i've struggled so much so i know soon enough i'll just say f it & just do it

 

[kitkat9234]

I feel the same exact way. Having really bad SI too. I don't know how to get past it

 

[untameduniquer]

I feel the same exact way. Having really bad SI too. I don't know how to get past it

i'm either going to try substances, weed or alcohol to get past it or try to clear my head and just go for it, but one things for sure, i can't live in this much pain anymore

 

[kitkat9234]

I wish I could drink alcohol or smoke but my method is SN so that will just add to the risk of throwing up. I have stomach issues as is and no access to meto I'm so worried about failing. Just another reason I'm hesitant to try again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just want to never wake as well and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall into an eternal sleep, I just wish for peace as well, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[untameduniquer]

I wish I could drink alcohol or smoke but my method is SN so that will just add to the risk of throwing up. I have stomach issues as is and no access to meto I'm so worried about failing. Just another reason I'm hesitant to try again.

I definitely understand, just know if you ever need to talk, i'll listen.

I just want to never wake as well and I always suffer from how I cannot just choose to fall into an eternal sleep, I just wish for peace as well, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

thank you, i wish the same for you.