CerebralVortex
Member
- Apr 26, 2025
- 10
Ain't dead yet I guess.
I tried to sorta organize this, but I feel like shit rn so idk if its at all readable.
I thought i had gotten over any SI during partial, but no matter what, even if im perfectly mentally and physically prepared, my legs just fucking lock and I cant push myself down far enough. It just feels stupid and pathetic. Idek what im doing anymore. I wake up, I do something lame on my pc, I drink something, try to ctb, and sleep. It just feels like some never ending bs purrgatory. Before partial, and currently, I was considering lying on tram tracks, but I've been having a moral dilemma abt that. It might force someone to 'kill' me(even though from a logical standpoint it'd either be my fault or the trams, not the conductors), but if I lie with my neck on the rails I can almost guarantee an instant death that SI couldn't save me from. I just don't know what im doing anymore, I just feel numb, hazy, and fucking tired. Any advice is encouraged, but idk if I'll consider anything. Sorry for another incoherent ramble, i just feel done rn
Idk if I posted this cat yet, but here's Allie( or Ally, idk how it'd be spelled)
I tried to sorta organize this, but I feel like shit rn so idk if its at all readable.
I thought i had gotten over any SI during partial, but no matter what, even if im perfectly mentally and physically prepared, my legs just fucking lock and I cant push myself down far enough. It just feels stupid and pathetic. Idek what im doing anymore. I wake up, I do something lame on my pc, I drink something, try to ctb, and sleep. It just feels like some never ending bs purrgatory. Before partial, and currently, I was considering lying on tram tracks, but I've been having a moral dilemma abt that. It might force someone to 'kill' me(even though from a logical standpoint it'd either be my fault or the trams, not the conductors), but if I lie with my neck on the rails I can almost guarantee an instant death that SI couldn't save me from. I just don't know what im doing anymore, I just feel numb, hazy, and fucking tired. Any advice is encouraged, but idk if I'll consider anything. Sorry for another incoherent ramble, i just feel done rn
Idk if I posted this cat yet, but here's Allie( or Ally, idk how it'd be spelled)
