Question ?

[tezw]

What led you people to suicidal ideation ? And plans people ?, just curious, I wanted to gauge what led some of us down this path, if it isnt too personal or traumatising to discuss of course, take care.

 

[drag201]

Hmm I think I always started thinking this way ever since I could really grasp the concept of suicide, because I could never see a long life for myself, never had any long term ambitions or goals and happiness never appealed to me. I started to understand I wasn't meant for this world and became drawn to suicide

 

[tezw]

Thank you for your perspective my friend I am sorry you suffered and endured, so as soon as you saw existence as it rly was ? The realisation dropped that it wasnt for you ?, I can relate to that very much, take care

 

[drag201]

Thank you for your perspective my friend I am sorry you suffered and endured, so as soon as you saw existence as it rly was ? The realisation dropped that it wasnt for you ?, I can relate to that very much, take care

Yes, unfortunately I also started developing mental issues very early in life so along with that everything became very hard, especially long term thoughts of life. You take care too, I hope you are doing alright.

 

[tezw]

Sure I can understand exactly what your saying, mental health issues definitely make normal every day living torturous for sure, I hope you find peace pal, and thank you for the kindness it means a lot, I wish you well, you seem a nice person, I noticed that with the site a lot of nice people I am sorry for what you have gone through, I guess to me this existence makes no sense, as soon as the realisation dropped I kind of always felt out of place, there was a famous philosopher who quoted living as absurd but cant remember who quoted it now, hope your ok too drag201, thank you for responding aswell and telling me some of your story

 

[BlackDoor]

Not being able to understand why certain things that are considered "normal" are desirable, like the unending pursuit of material wealth, ignoring the well being of others because of a toxic form of individualism, being okay with generalized dysfunction and low empathy responses to calamity. Being punished for not aligning with the script and a feeling of perpetual disconnection with the world.

 

[tezw]

Wow Blackdoor you make so many depressing but sound points honestly, everything you listed there is likely a massive contribution in why our society is so dysfunctional and broken, thank you for posting honestly, very valid points, great assessment of the current state of affairs, very articulate my friend, I feel just as lost as you buddy if it any consolation, hope your ok considering what a shitshow we live in

 

[BlackDoor]

Wow Blackdoor you make so many depressing but sound points honestly, everything you listed there is likely a massive contribution in why our society is so dysfunctional and broken, thank you for posting honestly, very valid points, great assessment of the current state of affairs, very articulate my friend, I feel just as lost as you buddy if it any consolation, hope your ok considering what a shitshow we live in

I am my version of fine. I hope you're doing well.

As an aside: The philosopher you were thinking of when you commented to drag201 is possibly Albert Camus. I found his philosophy on life interesting as well.

 

[sorrowful]

A lot of trauma in my early life, absent drug addict parents, all kinds of abuse, dealing with mental health issues for as long as I can remember. Then I fell into drug addiction myself during teens, caused a lot of trouble for my grandparents, grandmother passed away last year whilst I was in a psych ward after overdosing and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, left dealing with a lot of regret and grief. Only a few days ago the person that I love most ended their own life, I did not get to say goodbye to him either. Have no hope for anything. Deep emptiness and consistent anhedonia. Uninterested in getting a job, I never even finished school so I doubt I could get a job I would ever want. Seems as if tragedy follows me everywhere I go. Have a habit of getting myself into bad situations time and time again and I am heavily self-destructive. I do not know life without violence. Exhausted and I just want out. I do feel bad for my grandfather, though. Wish I could hold on until he passed so he doesn't have to see me go like that but I just can't. I do not think I am suited for human life. Barely able to look after myself and it's so shameful.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I don't want to exist and find existing completely undesirable, I don't see value in the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human, I don't see any point to being conscious and aware in this world filled with endless suffering. To me personally non-existence is always preferable especially as there are no disadvantages to being unaware for all eternity yet there is no limit as to how torturous this meaningless, cruel existence can get and I don't want to suffer in any way, instead all I wish for is permanent safety from all suffering. I just don't have any interest in being trapped in this harmful existence for more decades just to be tormented from old age dying in agony, it's just not for me, I certainly never would have chosen to exist.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What led you people to suicidal ideation ?

A big failure in life.