'Promise me you won't kill yourself'

[xhelx]

I mean, I get where they're coming from. It's the kind of promise I'd probably ask someone to make too if only I knew it couldn't be broken. But really, for how long is someone supposed to keep that promise? 'Forever', they would say. But am I supposed to force myself to live for possibly a few more decades for someone that I most likely won't still be talking to by then? Someone that maybe I'm already no longer talking to? Someone who might die before me or even kill themselves? As much as I get that it shows that they care, it's selfish. They make you make this promise because they would miss you, maybe not even that. Again, I'd be guilty of this too, but it's still selfish. What could you even say to this, 'no, I can't promise that'? It's not like they'll leave you alone if you say that.

 

[LastNite]

It's a selfish request

 

[Neuromancer]

They do not want to have a burden of "I could save that person" before they sleep.

They ask that question, so they can feel better.

"Okay! He promised he won't suicide, I did my job, I can sleep well now."

Just promise it, smile, and keep your plan going.

It's all about how they want to feel, nothing about your life.

 

[Thomas599]

I make no promises to you or anyone. My own self determination is not a group decision.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

My friend made me promise him I wouldn't kill myself or he would call my house and let the people there know. So I promised, and I'm breaking that promise because I can't be bothered to be manipulated in order to stick around.

 

[leloyon]

Nothing stopping that person from just breaking the promise. Ending their suffering is worth more than a likely-half-hearted-and-coerced promise.

They do not want to have a burden of "I could save that person" before they sleep.

They ask that question, so they can feel better.

"Okay! He promised he won't suicide, I did my job, I can sleep well now."

Just promise it, smile, and keep your plan going.

It's all about how they want to feel, nothing about your life.

Pretty much this.
Also holy shit, Henry Dorsett Case pfp.

 

[monetpompo]

people always tell me that when i tell them i want to die, but it makes me think that they don't really grasp how real my suicidal thoughts are. i'm not just going to stop having them and i'm not going to swear off suicide forever just because someone told me to. i'm not well. eventually, it becomes easier to stay out of touch or to never talk about my feelings at all because i don't want people to feel responsible for my suicidal ideation. ultimately, my decision to ctb will be my own and no one else's choice. i'm making the plan, i'm the one ideating, and i don't want to commit suicide just to make people feel bad for me. i need to keep all my feelings to myself. it's for the better

 

[NonEssential]

Honestly, I didn't use those words when I heard my sister express her ctb thoughts, not because I don't care about her, but because I know how obnoxious that kind of begging is.

 

[monetpompo]

Honestly, I didn't use those words when I heard my sister express her ctb thoughts, not because I don't care about her, but because I know how obnoxious that kind of begging is.

people with ctb thoughts don't wanna hear it because i think it implies that the person saying it will feel guilty if you do it. if my sister expressed heavy suicidal thoughts, i would just give her food or something because i know she wouldn't actually want to talk about how she's feeling. i think the phrase isn't helpful for anybody because it makes you feel more like a liability than someone they care about. when my friend tells me not to do it i think he's only saying that because i know he feels like he would be encouraging me he accepted it.

 

[Apathy79]

I guess you're supposed to keep it until you can't? Maybe mention in a note or a delayed communication that you tried if it is someone very close.

I've got a hypothetical in my head where I make this promise and then I'm in the trade centre when it crashes and have the choice to burn alive or jump. I jump. That's suicide. But the alternate fate is worse. Did I break the promise? No. It's understood that life circumstances were irretrievable and this was the best option. I see that as the qualifier for ctb anyway, so keeping the promise until you can't seems like a good barometer for when to do it regardless.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

This has been my dilemma. I use this site in a secret and shadowed way. Unable to tell others in our lives that we're seeking to die, because they've already made us promise "please stay." So, we put on a fake face for them, to mask the desperate longing, so they will agree. Lest they become concerned over our latest plight, and question our intentions, bathed in a worried light. I've written a note so they'll know, but during life I'll lie. Maybe to them, perhaps to myself, but the thoughts won't die.

 

[bankai]

In these cases the best solution,

 

[TAW122]

I agree with most of what others said here. Yes, whenever people use that line of request or statement, it's usually about them as well as projection of their (the other person's) selfish interests, not so much about the sufferer (person who wants to CTB). @Neuromancer summed it up very succinctly.

As for @SomewhereAlongThe I (morally and ethically) don't really see it as actually breaking a promise since it was done under false pretenses (through guilt trip and pressure to stay around by others). I agree with you that it is indeed manipulation by others which makes it even more valid for your escape from sentience's unrelenting torrent of suffering.

@leloyon Absolutely, and I personally would end my suffering too (when the time and circumstance comes) not so much out of spite but to prevent future unwanted suffering. I would want be to be 100% or as close to ready, prepared, and also ensure there is nothing that could impede or interfere with my plan or act of CTB as I cannot afford unnecessary risks or complications.

 

[Almost Dead]

Personally I despise making promises that I'm unsure if I can keep, so whenever someone puts me in that spot of "Please promise me you won't kill yourself", I tend to just be direct and say that I can't promise that specifically, but that I can promise to try my best to not do so and continue. Whether that pleases them or not (it usually doesn't) is ultimately not my problem, especially since it's a beg out of selfishness most of the time. Akin to "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"... make selfish requests, get selfish answers.

 

[Pluto]