Prayer to die after being abused by sister

[PhoenixAurora]

A simple childlike prayer to God

"Dear God, on last Sat 25 Apr 2020, i was again being verbally and emotionally abused by my sister ( till i have to call the police to come down to intervene)

I asked God where is God when i was shivering and cowering in fear ( whist my elder sister was banging down my room door with a hammer and spanner)?

Everyday i prayed to God to let me die quietly, to die in my sleep every day (yet it seems my prayers are bouncing off the walls/ gates of heaven).

Each day I pray to God saying "Dear God, please let me die right now. Please let me die in my sleep." Every day is so painful, I have no reason or will to live. At night I pray to God, asking Him why He let me live in this world which is like a torture to me? Each morning I wake up again and have to suffer another day. I just want the torture and suffering to end. God, why do You leave me to suffer? Why won't You end this pain? I just want to die, God. My heart is broken and I will never again know peace or happiness. Life is a horrible nightmare that i can't escape from. People told me if i commit suicide, i will end up in hell. But dear God, i feel i am already living in the pits of hell. I want my heart to stop, I want my breath to stop. God, please hear me and end my suffering. I'm so sad and broken, I can't bear this pain. Please God, I ask nothing else of you other than death. Please answer my prayers and let me die, PLEASE GOD! Life is so miserable, there is no end in sight. God, please hear my cry and stop my heart right now, have a vein burst in my end and end my life right now, this very instant. Please don't leave me to suffer God, please end this now.

 

[darkhorse256]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. Abuse is hard enough by itself but it's even worse when it comes from your family. Your sister sounds like a terrible person and I wish karma exists, so that it can punish people who abuse others. I hope you know that this is in no way your fault. You deserve so much better and I'm sorry that you're hurting this much. I'm just wondering if you could file a police report against her? If the police have to intervene, don't they know that she is a threat? I hope they can help you in some way. I would say that living away from your abuser is best but I'm not sure if you can do so during the lockdown.

 

[oneside]

There was a time I asked the same question to god over and over, "Why do you allow such pain ? What have I done to deserve this ?" I didn't get an answer and I still couldn't get rid of my pain, then I realized that either god doesn't exist or he is a fraud.

 

[itsamadworld]

There was a time I asked the same question to god over and over, "Why do you allow such pain ? What have I done to deserve this ?" I didn't get an answer and I still couldn't get rid of my pain, then I realized that either god doesn't exist or he is a fraud.

I can relate to this....The first thing that lead me to pray in the first place was because i asked the question "why is there so much suffering? " I should have never asked cuz the years i prayed to god, the suffering actually got worse!...god must be dead, and there's no evidence he/it exists....now i can cbt without fear of hell...hopefully....

 

[Apathy79]

If prayer is your mechanism of choice, I'd pray for help to see life differently, and help to learn whatever needs to be learned from the situation.