Discussion Plan on Ctb tomorrow night

[LMLN]

I saw your picture. It is lovely, you and your stepson. I'm sorry you feel you need to leave, I'm sure he will miss you. I understand myself though, the pain outweighs the pain you will leave behind. I'm sorry you are leaving, but hope you finally find peace if you are sure this is what you want.
Peace and love to you.

 

[yetme]

Feeling okay so far. I figure if God exists, truly exists, and has other plans for me, he'll find a way to stop me.

A picture from happier times.
View attachment 30752

Fucking hell, mate! You're a one good looking fella!
Are you sure you're doing the right thing? Do you have any health or mental problems?

 

[William Barker]

I saw your picture. It is lovely, you and your stepson. I'm sorry you feel you need to leave, I'm sure he will miss you. I understand myself though, the pain outweighs the pain you will leave behind. I'm sorry you are leaving, but hope you finally find peace if you are sure this is what you want.
Peace and love to you.

He misses me now, not that my wife or in-laws give a damn.

My wife happened to mentioned he's been crying for me.

But it is what is.

I'll never see him again anyway.

Fucking hell, mate! You're a one good looking fella!
Are you sure you're doing the right thing? Do you have any health or mental problems?

If I'm so good looking, why have people always made me feel otherwise? And if you wish to know more about me, it's all in this thread here. But you can pm if you want

 

[desperatemen83]

						It's me in the picture. The child is my stepson. And here I thought I looked happy...

It's me in the picture. The child is my stepson.

And here I thought I looked happy...

Those are small things people like us notice, maybe from the mirror:). If you have any doubts and not sure about your decision
don't rush. SN can last for years and it doesn't have to be tonight. But it is your decision in the end.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Yeah you're good looking! I'm so sorry that it turned out to be like this.

 

[William Barker]

Yeah you're good looking! I'm so sorry that it turned out to be like this.

It's funny. I never felt good looking, and people have always been so unkind, telling me otherwise.

 

[yetme]

View attachment 30771
Maybe I'm happy there?

oh fuck man.
don't die!
fuck your wife, fuck your friends.. just pack your shit and go to someplace else. go to Brazil or Thailand.
if you don't have health condition, everything else is manageable!
you have both hands, both legs, right? fuck everything else!

 

[William Barker]

oh fuck man.
don't die!
fuck your wife, fuck your friends.. just pack your shit and go to someplace else. go to Brazil or Thailand.
if you don't have health condition, everything else is manageable!
you have both hands, both legs, right? fuck everything else!

If I had someone brave enough to run away with me, I would. In a heart beat.

 

[yetme]

If I had someone brave enough to run away with me, I would. In a heart beat.

Man if you mean woman, then go to Brazil. They are most beautiful people I have ever seen. and I live in a country with the most beautiful woman in the world

 

[William Barker]

Man if you mean woman, then go to Brazil. They are most beautiful people I have ever seen. and I live in a country with the most beautiful woman in the world

I mean, if I had a buddy to run away with, I'd be brave enough.

 

[Jojo rabbit]

If I had someone brave enough to run away with me, I would. In a heart beat.

I would pm you if I could (too new, signed up so that I could send this message) but if I can last another few days, anyone can.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

It's funny. I never felt good looking, and people have always been so unkind, telling me otherwise.

People are so evil.. maybe they just can't stand the fact that you're way better looking than them

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hello, all. I haven't been on this site for very long, and assuming that all goes according to plan, tomorrow will be my last night.

I feel that I have done my homework sufficiently enough on the SN method. But just in case, here goes:

A few hours before my attempt, I will test the SN with my blood, making sure it turns a dark chocolate brown.

Fast for at least 8 hours.

25gm in 50ml of water (guess tap is good enough).

I have measuring cups and spoons.

Use mouthwash to numb my tastebuds beforehand.

Take a mint afterwards.

Make a back up cup or two just in case I somehow vomit it all up, even though I can still ctb anyway, regardless of vomiting.

Lie down and wait to die.

I have several windows pulled up just for reference, including Stan's guide, but if I've forgotten something or you have something to add, please do. I never claimed to be perfect. Far from it in face.

I wish you the best & hope you find peace.

 

[William Barker]

People are so evil.. maybe they just can't stand the fact that you're way better looking than them

Maybe so. But thank you for your kindness. It means a lot.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Maybe so. But thank you for your kindness. It means a lot.

If you need to talk pm me anytime

 

[Jojo rabbit]

Life is cruel, many people are cruel. I am hanging on by a thread myself so there is no judgement but I couldn't not send you a message to say that you are not alone.

 

[Living sucks]

I would run away with you and many women would. You are no where near ugly, and are good looking, why would you be made to feel otherwise? But i get it robin Williams had everything you'd think, why would he be so low? Funny as hell and had millions. No one knows the demons. I would be happier and not ctb if i had a mate to protect me and help me try to survive a buddy to run away with

 

[desperatemen83]

Yeah, sometimes when people fell bad about themselves, they tend to make someone else fell bad about reason of their pain ( in this case looks) esspecially when that person is better looking than them

 

[William Barker]

I would run away with you and many women would. You are no where near ugly, good looking, why would you be made to feel otherwise? But i get it robin Williams had everything you'd think, why would he be so low? Funny as hell and had millions. No one knows the demons. I would be happier and not ctb if i had a mate to protect me and help me try to survive a buddy to run away with

I always dreamed of running away and starting a new life elsewhere. Maybe a nice small town where people actually care about each other.

 

[desperatemen83]

Actually you can do that, but beware of small towns, sometimes beneath all that care could be a lot of harsh things... I grew up in one

 

[William Barker]

Actually you can do that, but beware of small towns, sometimes beneath all that care could be a lot of harsh things... I grew up in one

I just always fantasized how wonderful it would be to be a part of a community, where everyone knows your name.

 

[Smudgedlines]

Handsome man. Although I find your writing far more appealing. I do hope you choose to stay and talk. You never know what's round the corner. You never know who or what can come in your life and turn it on it's head. I've enjoyed reading your posts...bar the subject matter obviously. I'll be checking in..in the hope you're still around x

 

[LMLN]

I just always fantasized how wonderful it would be to be a part of a community, where everyone knows your name.

You could stay a bit longer and think about this as a possibility.

 

[William Barker]

Handsome man. Although I find your writing far more appealing. I do hope you choose to stay and talk. You never know what's round the corner. You never know who or what can come in your life and turn it on it's head. I've enjoyed reading your posts...bar the subject matter obviously. I'll be checking in..in the hope you're still around x

Hell, let's enjoy another poem by yours truly

The Date

There's a new couple out on a date.
She so clearly wants kissed, but he hesitates.
In want of the perfect moment, he waits, leaving his date to ponder their fate.

Through the park they walk hand in hand;
A lovely night out was their plan.
The moon is full, and there's a chill in the land, but otherwise, the night so far is just grand.

After a short while, and nearby the lake,
The two find their hearts starting to ache.
Giving their hesitance a break,
A lover's kiss they finally make.

 

[Crows]

I don't know how people think ctb'ing is weak in my opinion it's brave. Deciding that life is no longer worth living and is hopeless is something we think about quite a bit. Hopefully my time will come soon and I will be as brave as you. Much love and hope.

 

[Smudgedlines]

... so easily he could've made a mistake.

 

[Jojo rabbit]

Actually you can do that, but be aware of small towns, sometimes beneath all that care could be a lot of harsh things... I grew up in one

Hell, let's enjoy another poem by yours truly

The Date

There's a new couple out on a date.
She so clearly wants kissed, but he hesitates.
In want of the perfect moment, he waits, leaving his date to ponder their fate.

Through the park they walk hand in hand;
A lovely night out was their plan.
The moon is full, and there's a chill in the land, but otherwise, the night so far is just grand.

After a short while, and nearby the lake,
The two find their hearts starting to ache.
Giving their hesitance a break,
A lover's kiss they finally make.

Wonderful. If you keep focused on your writing, perhaps that will carry you one moment to the next. That is how I am making it through each day, one foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. Each thought is torture unless I am focused on something else. Clearly you are very talented.

 

[desperatemen83]

It i

I just always fantasized how wonderful it would be to be a part of a community, where everyone knows your name.

That is nice, it brings the fell of belonging. Problem with small towns is diversity. I grew up gay and that was a problem. HOW are you felling now regarding your decision to CT?

 

[William Barker]

It i


That is nice, it brings the fell of belonging. Problem with small towns is diversity. I grew up gay and that was a problem. HOW are you felling now regarding your decision to CT?

Still want to give up on life, but I'm not feeling so sorrowful about it now.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I always dreamed of running away and starting a new life elsewhere. Maybe a nice small town where people actually care about each other.

I was planning that... Until corona... And my buddy disappeared. Ofcourse im to scared to go alone... Wuss..

Whatever you do, i wish you peace and warmth