Im so sorry your going through this. My dog Ellie is all that kept me going for 15 years. I lost her in January this year. To say I was devastated is a vast understatement. My husband pushed for me to adopt a deaf puppy, who I love dearly now, but for a few weeks I was so upset and overwhelmed and resentful. Resentful towards him and the puppy. I had finally been almost free from obligations to stay alive, but now my little puppy adores me and I her, so I am once again shackled to existence. She is now 6 months old, and I am no longer resentful of her or my husband for making me get her. I love her, but its just not the same as my Ellie. She adores me so much though, she cries and screams for me when I leave for work even when my husband is home, so I couldnt imagine leaving her. Atleast not right now, but I am semi-stable at the moment. As stable as I am capable of being.
I think it would be best if you could stay around long enough for your kitty, they dont understand stuff. But by all means I understand if your not able to do that, no judgement or pressure or anything. One thing I recommend is leaving a will of who her guardian should be. I also used to tell my husband if anything ever happened to me, I wanted Ellie to see my dead body. I have seen animals understand a dead body, so to me it seems like if they atleast see our dead body they might understand we didnt just up and leave them. Im so sorry your having to think of this stuff, I know its stressful and sad. I wish you and your kitty the best.