Past mistakes

[Nem]

Hugs all
Today has been just hellacious to put it mildly. I can't stop thinking about past mistakes and decisions that did serious damage to my life and well being. I am besieged with thoughts of what the hell was I thinking and I'm on the verge of ctb and even regret not ctb already. All these regrets start from when I met my ex and didn't realize this was not the person to get involved with. I have spent so much time contemplating ctb that it's amazing I'm still alive. I don't know how to stop these regrets and some are just kicking the living shit out of me
Peace/hugs

 

[IHaveNoIdea]

Have you tried talking to a therapist?

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It helps me to think, "Thank god that's over."

 

[LMLN]

I'm so sorry Nem. I'm having a hellacious day myself. Regrets and grief, and all kinds of bad feelings. I'm just trying to get through today, see if tomorrow is better. I wish I had better advice for you.

 

[Thinking Beyond]

Hugs all
Today has been just hellacious to put it mildly. I can't stop thinking about past mistakes and decisions that did serious damage to my life and well being. I am besieged with thoughts of what the hell was I thinking and I'm on the verge of ctb and even regret not ctb already. All these regrets start from when I met my ex and didn't realize this was not the person to get involved with. I have spent so much time contemplating ctb that it's amazing I'm still alive. I don't know how to stop these regrets and some are just kicking the living shit out of me
Peace/hugs

Personally I get past it by focusing on the future. Why havent you ctbed yet?

 

[Nem]

Have you tried talking to a therapist?

I have and the therapist wasn't very helpful unfortunately
Peace/hugs

Personally I get past it by focusing on the future. Why havent you ctbed yet?

My father is dying in a care home and I was hoping to hang on so that he doesn't have to deal with my death on top of everything else that he's dealing with
Peace/hugs

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Hi Nem. I understand you. I think about past mistakes everyday too and they are part of the reasons I want to ctb. There's not a single day I don't have these thoughts. I try to distract myself so they disappear but they always come back. It sucks. My mind alwayd reminding me how I fucked things up. I could be living a different life if I wasn't so stupid. So sorry but I feel this way too. The only thing is cope... Or ctb.