Over 35? 40? 50? 60?.... Can share?

[raybd]

A lot of people here seem to be young or very young. I posted a similar thread the last time I was circling the drain 3 years ago, but survived... Just would like to see how the people on this site have changed or remained the same. If you are 35 and over, could you, if you don't mind, state your age and reason to go and perhaps an idea of your location...

For me, it is all falling through the cracks in the medical system... somehow, last 2 serious incidents, I survived... this time, I and the Reaper are sitting at a table and drinking tea, waiting for the appointed hour..

But the thing is I have none of the frustrations in life people voice here... truly no medical options is all... and I made my peace with it years ago...

 

[metfan647]

38, mental health struggles and given up with life, UK.

 

[UnoX48]

41 years old, chronic illness since I was 29. I'm taking the bus in 15 days with a partner. France

 

[Forveleth]

I am 42 but I have been suicidal since I was 15. People told me it would get better so I just kept gaslighting myself through life and I am to the point where it is never going to get better and I am tired of living.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I'm 38 years old (in a month i will be 39). The reason why i will probably ctb in 2026 are: chronic health issues that are getting worse as I age. I am 38 but i have a health of a 70 year old, also because of my autism i never had a real friend and never been loved by any woman. I'm so tired of the loneliness too.

To add on top of it all that I have cold parents who never comfort me, and when I tell them about my problems they only make me feel even worse, and somehow they twist the truth to make me feel guilty about all the problems I mentioned earlier.

I am 42 but I have been suicidal since I was 15. People told me it would get better so I just kept gaslighting myself through life and I am to the point where it is never going to get better and I am tired of living.

Similar, I have been suicidal since when I was just 16 years old way back in 2003.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

36 here and I've spiraled into terminal psychache. I can't live with what I've said, done, and failed to do. However, suicide is hard and I don't think I can go through with it. Am I headed for bedridden, dependent depression? For how long? How am I ever going to get a job and clean up after myself?

 

[idiotmother]

36 and damaged by psychiatric medications and no one can help me. I've caused damage that I can't stand, am tired all the time and anxious. I also can't get enough sleep due to the drugs and so much more. I hate myself for getting in this situation and I wish there was a painless, easy way to exit. I feel no joy or excitement anymore. I hate that I became suicidal after N becoming impossible to source.

 

[tonicer]

I turn 43 soon and i am suicidal since around 14 give or take. I achieved pretty much nothing except studying computer science. Besides that i am a KHHV and can't seem to find a job. I live with my mother who is an angel but she's old and not very healthy so once she's gone i go too. There is nothing on this world for someone with my curse anyway. Being ugly has to be the biggest disadvantage there is.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I hate that I became suicidal after N becoming impossible to source.

I probably never would have been able to afford it, but I feel the same way. For some reason I am afraid of using a gun. Too many survivors. It would be different if I already owned one but I don't have the guts to go buy one. I fantasize about a smooth, painless death that isn't coming.

 

[raybd]

I turn 43 soon and i am suicidal since around 14 give or take. I achieved pretty much nothing except studying computer science. Besides that i am a KHHV and can't seem to find a job. I live with my mother who is an angel but she's old and not very healthy so once she's gone i go too. There is nothing on this world for someone with my curse anyway. Being ugly has to be the biggest disadvantage there is.

but didn't studying computer science at least give a you a good career and nice money? that often helps with other shortcomings one may perceive one has...

 

[idiotmother]

I probably never would have been able to afford it, but I feel the same way. For some reason I am afraid of using a gun. Too many survivors. It would be different if I already owned one but I don't have the guts to go buy one. I fantasize about a smooth, painless death that isn't coming.

I fantasize about it too. I can't legally obtain a gun, otherwise I would have gotten one. I definitely understand being afraid to use them, they are touchy things. And surviving a gun shot to the head would be awful.