nvm i’m gonna try ctb for real again

[wastingpotential]

last post i asked ab any methods that could guarantee me survival if i tried them because i wanted to bring attention to my suffering and have someone actually listen to me. but i think i'm just pulling back on that now and going to try attempting again and hope it actually kills me

i'm over eighteen and still in fucking high school because i failed a year once due to health being awful and constant moving made the system try push me back cause of different curriculums. my grades have always sucked because i never fully understood the language i was learning in and this year i changed curriculums and i'm learning in english now, which was supposed to be good cause i'm fluent in it. no matter how fucking good i think i'm doing on tests or assignments my grades still end up being either the BARE MINIMUM to pass or a straight up fail. i'm so fucking exhausted

this on top of everything i'm enduring this past year is enough to make me wanna die even more. i know i said in the last post i had things i wanted to wait out on but it doesnt even matter anymore. i'm gonna end up a high school dropout no matter how hard i try and i'm gonna keep living my days in fear of my fucking sa'er being in this house.

my best and only method i could try get my hands on right now is overdosing. i can't think of much else right now. i'm so tired and i just want to cry. at least i can say i tried, right? i tried to live, i really did

 

[bFre3]

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right thing to say, I'll be careful with my words.

I'm a bit hypocritical for saying this, since I'm going through somewhat similar things. But, if this is something you've decided only within a few weeks or so, then please do wait it out. CTB from impulse is not good.

The despair from trying and things not working out are real. I personally believe it's entirely acceptable to just... give up as well. That's a valid option in my book, and it drives me nuts whenever people tell me 'things will get better soon'. What I'm trying to emphasise is that your reasons are valid (I don't think there are any reasons out there that are not valid), but your conclusion from it might be a bit hasty, at least from what you've written.

I'd personally say to think about it a bit more, and ensure it's a choice you're content with, not a blind desire.

Of course, this is just some words coming from an internet stranger. In the end, you should do what you think is right for you.

I hope you reach a conclusion that you wish

 

[wastingpotential]

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right thing to say, I'll be careful with my words.

I'm a bit hypocritical for saying this, since I'm going through somewhat similar things. But, if this is something you've decided only within a few weeks or so, then please do wait it out. CTB from impulse is not good.

The despair from trying and things not working out are real. I personally believe it's entirely acceptable to just... give up as well. That's a valid option in my book, and it drives me nuts whenever people tell me 'things will get better soon'. What I'm trying to emphasise is that your reasons are valid (I don't think there are any reasons out there that are not valid), but your conclusion from it might be a bit hasty, at least from what you've written.

I'd personally say to think about it a bit more, and ensure it's a choice you're content with, not a blind desire.

Of course, this is just some words coming from an internet stranger. In the end, you should do what you think is right for you.

I hope you reach a conclusion that you wish

i don't think it'd be impulsive if i went through with it. i spent majority of late 2023 trying to end things and somehow surviving, every month that passes me since only got worse and i don't think i can handle anything more being thrown at me the way they are now. it's so tiring

i had a plethora of people constantly tell me (and still do) to wait things out and things will get better and they have only gotten much, much worse. if i were to die any moment now, i think i would be fine with it… i get where you're coming at, though