Venting Numb

[willitpass]

I'm so fucking numb right now. Painfully numb. I want to scream because it hurts to exist, but at the same time I just want to sit there and stare blankly at the wall. I have Hurt by Johnny Cash on a loop. I haven't self harmed by cutting in over a year, but today I need blood. I need to know my heart is still beating. And I need to make it stop doing just that. I can't do it. Fuck.
I can't sit still but I'm too tired to move. I want to sob but I'm too numb to cry. This isn't a life worth living. I wish people in my life could understand. I wish society could have compassion for severe treatment resistant mental illness. This isn't living. This isn't even surviving. What have I become? I'm so tired. I'm so so tired. I just need to die. I need my body to give out.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I have Hurt by Johnny Cash on a loop.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I'm so fucking numb right now. Painfully numb. I want to scream because it hurts to exist, but at the same time I just want to sit there and stare blankly at the wall. I have Hurt by Johnny Cash on a loop. I haven't self harmed by cutting in over a year, but today I need blood. I need to know my heart is still beating. And I need to make it stop doing just that. I can't do it. Fuck.
I can't sit still but I'm too tired to move. I want to sob but I'm too numb to cry. This isn't a life worth living. I wish people in my life could understand. I wish society could have compassion for severe treatment resistant mental illness. This isn't living. This isn't even surviving. What have I become? I'm so tired. I'm so so tired. I just need to die. I need my body to give out.

I'm honestly having difficulty trying to connect with my feelings currently so definitely relatable

I just find myself staring into space or the screen of my phone hearing the voices and thoughts in my head trying to process everything

I wish people could understand my pain and suffering to you just reach a point in existence when you think whats the point

Also

 

[divinemistress36]

I feel the same way it's so hard