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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,900
À 4/10, sur le point de réessayer dans environ 2 heures, j'aurais tenté même si j'étais à 1/10, est-ce que cela me rend atypique ?
No im. borderline it can ne 9/10 and 10 minutes After 1/10 ,then 9/10...
 
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Unlucky777

Unlucky777

Specialist
Dec 10, 2025
345
10/10. I wish I could shut my brain off for good. I wish I could stop having thoughts. I just want my brain to shut the fuck up. A bullet to the head would be nice about now
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
1,056
8/10 because I can still fake my job somewhat

I figure 9/10 would be bedridden

10/10 would get me to CTB

I hate that I'm waiting on more extreme distress. I just want to tie that noose and do it.
 
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E

Exhausted546

Experienced
Dec 1, 2025
274
8/10 because I can still fake my job somewhat

I figure 9/10 would be bedridden

10/10 would get me to CTB

I hate that I'm waiting on more extreme distress. I just want to tie that noose and do it.
I guess I'm weird, my attempts to CTB were like at 3-4/10. Although it was semi planned, I just took the window of opportunity I had.

I do know that my distress will jump to 6-7/10 minimum starting early January and will likely stay like that for the next 2 years
 
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kuroshimi

kuroshimi

If you're not remembered, then you never existed.
Dec 1, 2025
237
6 out of 10?

Mainly depression related. But still can enjoy some things, although have anxiety about future.
 
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girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
9/10 when i don't distract or delude myself. 3/10 rn bc im distracting myself
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,900
Now 5/10...
 
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INYGTRMTFMO

INYGTRMTFMO

I Need Your Grace To Remind Me To Find My Own
May 1, 2025
185
7/10. I have a cold and can't breathe out my nose: I'm irritable and have been snapping at my toddler at lot recently, and I hate myself for that; my husband has completely checked out and has been on the one Fortnite mode with his gaming friends for the past about 50 out of 64 waking hours in the past four days (although if I had me as a wife, I'd check the fuck out too); I had to work a bit yesterday and this afternoon despite allegedly being off, and I'm dreading work on Friday because I already have a million things to do on this to do list; it's cold and I hate the cold.
 
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littlecutecorpse

littlecutecorpse

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ absolute girlfailure ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Nov 13, 2025
171
was a 8/10 earlier today. things got rough between me and my boyfriend on call, argument's the same as usual. i'm a bit better now but still kinda beating myself over it.

i don't deserve forgiveness, i really don't. all i do is throw a tantrum over petty shit and back out like i'm innocent at the very last moment. i should just cut myself each time it happens because i only deserve pain, not a whole bucket of chances. i don't deserve any mercy at all, nor any sort of kindness, only pain.
 
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starsfirstlight

starsfirstlight

Member
Dec 27, 2025
5
Note your level of mental distress each day.

now: 8/10

You can explain or just give /10
8/10, based off of the suicide scale comic lol. Maybe an 8.5 depending on how you look at it.

I'm at a point where I'm constantly thinking about it. But I plan to CTB in 5-6 months so I don't think I'm in the "active" planning phase yet (a true 9), just slowly setting things in motion/wrapping things up. Emptiness and distress are my default states now haha and I'm a little sick of it
 

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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,900
Me 6/10
 
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girafeli

girafeli

it's okay
Dec 23, 2025
39
creeping up to a 9.5/10 rn i think..im not too sure
 
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C

Carryline

Student
Oct 11, 2025
183
11/10
 
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iamnotadinosaur:(

iamnotadinosaur:(

lost
Aug 19, 2025
54
not very distressed today compared to usual but probably 5/10 for the baseline being-trans mental distress
 
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V

Veszp

Member
Dec 17, 2025
5
2/10
Numb sort of day.
 
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TwistedNightmares

TwistedNightmares

I revoke my subscription from life.
Nov 1, 2025
193
9/10 or 10/10 depending on the day.
 
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XdragonsoulX

XdragonsoulX

Vengeance Incarnate
Apr 13, 2022
166
11/10 honestly not doing the best, everything is consuming me me and the further and further I feel from reality the worse it gets.
 
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NormallyNeurotic

NormallyNeurotic

Everything is going to be okay ⋅ he/him
Nov 21, 2024
734
10
 
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N

nendn

I will only react to constructive suggestions
Nov 23, 2025
33
6/10
 
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ih34rty0u

ih34rty0u

“i hope my dead body will haunt you forever”
Apr 16, 2024
73
9/10 because this year i lost my only friend and winter exams are coming
 
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Defenestration

Defenestration

I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
Oct 25, 2020
1,900
3
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
1,056
@starsfirstlight yeah 8 or 9. The more time I have away from my job the better I feel. Also I shouldn't jack up my anxiety with coffee so much. If I could just NEET for a while I think I might be able to fix myself.
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
283
I feel like there's two levels, there's the general terror and misery i always feel from trauma (10/10) and then like other distress on top of it (3/10)? but im always bad... always... it's just i've gotten learned helplessness with the background terror
 
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INYGTRMTFMO

INYGTRMTFMO

I Need Your Grace To Remind Me To Find My Own
May 1, 2025
185
7/10. I have a cold and can't breathe out my nose: I'm irritable and have been snapping at my toddler at lot recently, and I hate myself for that; my husband has completely checked out and has been on the one Fortnite mode with his gaming friends for the past about 50 out of 64 waking hours in the past four days (although if I had me as a wife, I'd check the fuck out too); I had to work a bit yesterday and this afternoon despite allegedly being off, and I'm dreading work on Friday because I already have a million things to do on this to do list; it's cold and I hate the cold.
Down to about a 4/10. Still sick, beyond exhausted, still hate myself, but had some decent moments with family today. And too tired to be more distressed.
 
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