Not sure if anxiety or paranoia...

[witchcraft]

I've been abusing nicotine for a while now, and I'm at the point of wanting to quit (again). I know nicotine aggravates anxiety.

I'm a superstitious person. Not sure if this is me being paranoid, but I'm worried about myself spiritually.

I can't watch films about possession. They freak me out and follow me for years. It's hard to stop thinking about them. I don't want to even read about them.

Recently I stopped going to church because church was making me paranoid. You know, overactive imagination worrying about demons, entities, God's constant inescapable judgment.

The YouTube algorithm has decided it will start flooding my feed with videos about spiritual warfare, occult topics... I'm sure some of you know the rabbit hole.

I think I'm overthinking, psyching myself out kinda thing.

Should I get rid of my tarot deck? On the one hand, I genuinely don't really use it. On the other hand, part of why I don't use it is because of Christian spiritual paranoia.

I'm not, nor was I ever trying to summon anything. Well, that's technically not true, because I was curious if tarot could be used as a tool to communicate with God. So let me rephrase: I was not trying to summon anything else. I've used my tarot deck maybe a dozen times in this manner, but it's been six months or more since my last reading.

Sorry it has taken so long to get to the point but I'm tired and my anxiety is bad. Also, telling people I am worried about being spiritually cursed by an anime themed mass-produced tarot deck is quite embarrassing.

This is not the first time I've felt this way either. My dad took me to an old insane asylum that had been turned into a makeshift mall and it was super creepy, and I did not feel clean of that place. Even two years later I have a worry in the back of my mind.

These episodes are still uncommon for me, knock on wood, so I think it's anxiety / poor sleep building up.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I don't think you need to be in a psych ward at all, but I do think you should see a psychologist about this. You could have paranoid schizophrenia or some form of psychosis.

 

[witchcraft]

I don't think you need to be in a psych ward at all, but I do think you should see a psychologist about this. You could have paranoid schizophrenia or some form of psychosis.

Maybe. Christianity insisting tarot is demonic and all the paranoia in the media (like my YouTube feed) is probably not helping, so I will start there.

Did you know rich people are suddenly building nuclear bunkers?

Did you know it's the end times?

Did you know over a dozen American nuclear scientists from two specific research centers (one was JPL) have mysteriously disappeared or been found dead in the past, idk, 5 years?

Did you know rich people are eating child sacrifices made to ancient cult entities at places like Bohemian Grove, Epstein's Island?

Did you know all of our societal problems right now are planned, by design?

Thanks YouTube. I need to start reading fantasy books again and just get rid of technology. Not out of any fear that it's watching me, but because it insists upon itself and is poison even when you go to great lengths to use it mindfully. Even if everything I just said above was true, there's nothing I can do about any of it, so it's not useful.